What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
Two things that everybody will be talking about around the Tuesday morning water cooler: LeGarrette Blount’s knuckles and Sam Bradford’s shoulder. Sure, those are the headlines from the opening weekend of college football, but they threaten to overshadow some other stories that need to be heard as well as some factors within those two tales that need to be addressed.
1) LeGarrette Blount Should Have Been Arrested
Anybody who thinks Blount being suspended for the rest of the year was too stiff a penalty is simply an idiot. He committed a crime on national television, and would have racked up several counts of assault against fans had security not intervened. Not only did he have a track record of being a disciplinary problem before Thursday night, let’s take a full look at what he did in that post-game incident.
Anybody who defends this gigantic ass-loaf clearly doesn’t understand or care about the dynamics of a team. Win or lose, national TV exposure is one of the best recruiting tools for any program. Blount’s actions completely destroyed that for Oregon. Moreover, had the university not ended Blount’s career as a Duck, he would have become a distraction that had a negative impact on the rest of the team. If that weren’t enough to demonstrate that Blount is complete horse-shit as a team-mate, trying to cold-cock a guy wearing the same uniform pretty much seals the deal.
We have lots of places where guys wear the same uniform and occasionally assault each other. It’s called the county jail, and Blount should spend about 30 days in one.
2) Oklahoma Didn’t Lose That Game Because of Bradford’s Injury
Confusion ruled the day in the Sooner offense. The offensive line at time looked completely clueless as how to deal with BYU’s constantly-shifting defensive schemes, so much so they let Sam Bradford get absolutely shit-hammered several times before he was finally knocked out of the game. BYU was so effective just simply messing with the Sooners’ heads that there were large stretches of that game Oklahoma looked legitimately overmatched. Even though the Sooners kept the game competitive, you knew they were in serious trouble on the goal-line stand where they let the play clock run out. Let’s be honest; you don’t deserve to win when you can’t get one fucking yard when the game is on the line.
3) It Is Time to Give the Mountain West Conference Some Love
Last season in the Sugar Bowl, Utah laid a big-time ass-whoopin’ on Alabama, one of the darlings of the SEC, a conference universally regarded as the premier in the land. Saturday, BYU flat outplayed Oklahoma, a team thought to have an inside track to the national championship game. Add a TCU squad that has also given fits to BCS conference teams in recent years (like Oklahoma), and perhaps it is time for some east-coast sports writers to stay up past 10 p.m. on Saturday nights.
4) Ohio State is Weak in the Trenches
While the Buckeyes did win this game 31-27 over the Midshipmen of the Naval Academy, it did show that The Paterno Formula for Beating Ohio State can work. Despite the fact the Middies were giving away on average 40 pounds per man on the line of scrimmage, Navy more than held it’s own on short-yardage situations. The Middies were successful executing a key point of the Paterno formula; they did not Ohio State’s guards get downfield to engage the linebackers. This means Ohio State needs to address this approach, otherwise they will have real trouble when a Big Eleven Ten team decides to use five defensive linemen against them.
5) Michigan and Notre Dame Still Suck
Don’t get whipped up over your blowouts, Wolvie and Irish faithful. You still suck now, and you will still suck next week after one of you exposes the other. Even the winner of next week’s Toilet Bowl will still suck until they beat somebody good (target date for that: 2014).
Simply put, Michigan still has serious problems, namely unproven entities at quarterback, overall team speed rivaled only by a team comprised of Jerry’s Kids, and a coach who in season #2 is already worried about having his nuts on the griddle.
As far as Notre Lame Dame is concerned, even though the Irish have a schedule softer than Ron Jeremy after a full days’ shooting, when you have people putting anti-Charlie Weis billboards in the shadow of Surrender Touchdown Jesus, the end is near.
6) Praise God, Another Houston Nutt Team Is Completely Bi-Polar
I have to admit – I just can’t get over the Nutt. Whether his team goes 4-8 or has them rated in the top ten; whether is playing the role of Baptist minister or getting run out of town for banging the local news anchorette, the Right Reverend Houston Dale Nutt and the teams he leads are the embodiment of pure entertainment.
As the graphic suggests, this year’s Mississippi squad will be no exception. Nutt teams can beat the best team in the country on their field, and collect penalties for players coming on the field not wearing pants. These are teams that can go an entire month throwing only ten forward passes, yet electrify the football world with the invention of the “Wildcat” formation.
Coach Nutt, we here at Dubsism applaud your genius that is insanity insanity that is genius the fact that we never quite know what to expect from you.