Four Things I Don’t Understand About The NFL

The NFL is the most popular sports league in this country; in my mind in spite of itself. Here’s four reasons why I don’t understand why the NFL succeeds.

1) The Fans

Somewhere along the way, NFL fans became as dumb as those in NASCAR. The most recent lock-out proved that. There was a ton of bleating and moaning about how the lock-out screwed the fans, despite the fact it all took place in the off-season. In terms of what the fans lost, it was one completely unwatchable pre-season game. In other words, the fans consider it a screwing to miss watching  a game in which the starters are off the field by the end of the first quarter. Not to mention, the same fans who think they are being screwed by not getting that ONE meaningless game are the same ones who don’t think they are being robbed by having to pay full-ticket prices to watch a bunch of guys who will be working at Jiffy Lube next week.

2) The Owners

Speaking of the lock-out, wasn’t the theme of the owners during this dispute all about how the NFL needed to be more financially responsible? Somebody needs to explain to me how it is “responsible” to pump $63 million into a completely unproven commodity in Kevin Kolb. Somebody needs to explain to me how it is “responsible” to pump $90 million into a 35-year old quarterback with bad knees and two bulging discs in his neck. Don’t get me wrong, I get that Peyton Manning is the only 4-time MVP in the NFL, and I get that he’s a sure-fire Hall-of-Famer, but $90 million is a huge wad of cash for a guy who simply is not the future of your franchise.

3) The Players

This really makes my colon seize up…we go through a lock-out that lasts nearly four months; a period of time in which the possibility existed there might be no football at all, and at the end of it we still have morons holding out! What the fuck is that? Somebody from the players’ union needs to got to these guys and say “Hey shithead! We’ve just spent a whole week trying to convince the fans they matter to us and you are queering the deal. Shut the fuck up and play football!”

4) The Media

Now, if he were getting paid to look like a black version of "Sideshow Bob..."

Whenever you wonder where some of the stupid shit originates that comes out of the mouths of fans, just look to ESPN. Here’s a network that has populated it’s on-air staff with bimbos, blow-dried hair, and ex-jocks most of whom couldn’t count their toes and get the same number twice. The problem is that these idiots drive what is considered news in the NFL. Just today everybody is blathering on about Randy Moss’ retirement, and wondering if he’s going to play again. Nobody stops to consider the guy is 35 years old (which is a SERIOUS line of delineation for athletes) and that he has been a non-factor for the last two years. His days of being a useful component on a team which means anything are over.  Let him go.

What we have is a sport which has hit levels of success heretofore unknown despite the fact its so heavily-laden with stupidity it seemingly should have collapsed under its own weight years ago. I’m all ears for an explanation of why the NFL is so popular that goes past “uhhh, football is awesome.” Until I get one, I will continue to spend Sundays scratching my head.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

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