Put a guy in the Hall of Fame, and next thing you know, he’s got an opinion on everything. After a while, he spends so much time ranting about whatever is putting a weed up his ass, he forgets that his diatribes should be audience-appropriate. In other words, when you decide to tee off on the attitudes of current major leaguers, it might be a good idea not to do it in front of a bunch of kids.

If only I had Jim Rice’s cell number, perhaps this could have all been avoided.

WILLIAMSPORT, Pa. — Red Sox Hall of Famer Jim Rice today criticized the approach current major leaguers have to baseball, telling youngsters at the Little League World Series that players such as Manny Ramirez set a “bad example.”

That’s right…Jimbo decided that while in Little League’s Mecca, it would be a good idea to trash the idols of these junior hardballers. Considering the average twelve-year-old has no idea who Rice is, he came off less like a Hall-of-Famer and more like that guy in the neighborhood who cuts up Nerf balls that land in his yard.

“You have these baggy uniforms, you have the dreadlocks, that’s not part of the game,” Rice said after mentioning Ramirez, who played for the Red Sox for nearly eight seasons.

I guess Jimbo was more partial to the body-hugging double-knits of those free-swinging 70’s, the kind so tight we knew all Steve Yeager’s religious choice the day he didn’t wear a cup.

Let me ask you a question, Jimbo. Just how far back should we set the “Way-Back Machine” so that all in the world meets with your approval? 1975? 1960? I’m pretty sure your fondness for the “good old days” doesn’t pre-date 1947, does it? Oh, and another thing, Jim…you are from an era that really shouldn’t be talking smack about the hair styles of the day.

In the same breath, Rice mentioned New York Yankees Alex Rodriquez and Derek Jeter as he described a baseball culture dominated by huge contracts and the accoutrements of wealth, with players more interested in Rolex watches than the game.

“What you see right now is more individuals, it’s not a team,” said Rice, a newly minted hall of famer who played for the Red Sox for 15 years. “Now you have guys coming in, they pick the days they want to play, they make big money. The first thing they see are dollar bills.”

Now this is priceless…granted, Jim Rice didn’t play in the stupid-huge money era, but he was making $100,000 per year in a time when you could pick up a brand new BMW for less than $8,000. The fact is that star players have always made pretty decent coin, and yelling this shit at a kid who mows lawns for the occasional twenty bucks is exactly the way to make a pointed socio-economic statement.

Hopefully, all the kids in your neighborhood at whom you’ve barked to get off your lawn will leave a flaming bag on your doorstep one of these days.