We’re two weeks into the J-Dub Gambling Challenge, and we’re already on our second musically-based theme. Last week was all about Concrete Blondes; today is all about something which couldn’t be more fitting given the college football world in which we now live.
In short, one cannot overstate the effect the transfer portal has had. Just like any other change, some will immediately master it…like Deon Sanders did by essentially re-inventing the Colorado Buffaloes. But for every success story, there’s one that goes the other way.
Given what happened Monday, an early candidate for that might just be Clemson’s Dabo Swinney. In the second half of that game against Duke, it became clear that somewhere along the line, the Blue Devils had far better players than Swinney had anticipated. There were honest-to-goodness moments during that beat-down Clemson took where Swinney clearly couldn’t comprehend how and/or what was happening.
Here’s how lost Swinney looked. He’s the guy who grew up on tape decks in Camaros trying to navigate streaming in a Tesla. He was trying to get some groovy old school R&B like The Manhattans, and ended up with cheese-tastic ear rape like Manhattan Transfer.
Instead of some silky-smooth “baby makin'” jams, Swinney got a hefty dose of the “college drama major” version of show-tuney harmonizing brought to you by girls who thought they had tits worthy of an early MTV video weighed down by guys not “vanilla” enough for the Lawrence Welk Show.
Despite Clemson’s choke-job and a similar face-plant by Brian Kelly’s LSU, the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll notched a gain of $193…even though I was also on the wrong end of “Prime Time’s” Buffaloes stampede on TCU. In any event, I’m back in the black at $5,080; up from the original $5K.
Not only that. but I get the feeling that if Dabo Swinney tried to get “Back in Black” on a streamer, he’d end up with Burt Bacharach.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
The Standard Plays
- Illinois at Kansas (-3) O/U 56.5 $50 Kansas
- Vanderbilt at Wake Forest (-8.5) O/U 57 $25 Wake Forest, $25 Under
- Nebraska at Colorado (-3) O/U 59.5 $100 Colorado
- Notre Dame (-6.5) at North Carolina State O/U 51 $100 Notre Dame
- Texas A&M (-4.5) at Miami (FL) O/U 51 $50 Miami (FL)
- Iowa (-4) at Iowa State O/U 35.5 $50 Iowa, $50 Under
- Appalachian State at North Carolina (-18) O/U 58 $150 North Carolina
- Southern Methodist at Oklahoma (-15.5) O/U 68.5 $75 Oklahoma, $75 Over
- New Mexico State at Liberty (-8.5) O/U 51 $100 Liberty, $100 Over
- Cincinnati at Pittsburgh (-7) O/U 45.5 $50 Pittsburgh
- Utah (-6.5) at Baylor O/U 47 $50 Utah, $50 Over
- Central Florida (-3.5) at Boise State O/U 60 $50 Boise State
- Wisconsin (-4.5) at Washington State O/U 58.5 $75 Washington State
- Oklahoma State (-4.5) at Arizona State O/U 56 $100 Oklahoma State
- Stanford at Southern California (-28.5) O/U 69.5 $50 Southern California
The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Purdue at Virginia Tech (-3.5) O/U 49 $50 Purdue
The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week
Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.
Ball State at Georgia (-42) O/U 52.5 $50 Over
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Washington Huskies..
Tulsa at Washington (-34) O/U 65 $25 Under
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Texas at Alabama (-7) O/U 52.5 $500 Over
P.S. To make up for exposing you to Manhattan Transfer, here’s some AC/DC…
Got a question, comment, or just want to yell at us? Hit us up at dubsism@yahoo.com, @Dubsism on Twitter, or on our Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook pages, and be sure to bookmark Dubsism.com so you don’t miss anything from the most interesting independent sports blog on the web.
Dubsism 