I know it isn’t Thanksgiving yet, but I don’t think that day can come fast enough in West Lafayette. You can say it’s too early to write off an entire season based on the second game. You say whatever you want, the fact is the Purdue Boilermakers are a genuinely bad football team. And yet, I still bet on them.
A short scroll down will show you why there is a weekly featured bet on the Boilers here. I have lived in the very heart of Purdue Nation for 15 years, and after having seen every bit of Boiler football in that time, after last Saturday I can honestly say I’ve seen the football equivalent of turkeys hitting the concrete.
Even in the darkest days of the Darrell Hazell era, I have never seen such a complete and swift disintegration of a Purdue team quite like we all saw at the hands of the Fighting Irish. You could still hear the echoes of the opening whistle when the Boilers tripped over themselves and starting hitting the turf at Ross-Ade like “sacks of wet cement.”
Just picture Les Nessman in the Purdue pressbox describing the Boilers being dropped out of the helicopter running on to the field as the splatter-fest started. Since this is a gambling column, I’m not going into a full breakdown of this team; suffice it to say betting on a team that can’t control the line of scrimmage on either side of the ball, can’t convert on 3rd down, and racks up stupid penalties is riskier that believing turkeys can fly.
As God as my witness, I thought these guys could play.
Having said that, you don’t have to play this week’s Purdue – Oregon State line; as a public service we’re here to do that for you. Despite the Boilers’ best effort, the J-Dub Gambling Challenge pulled in a solid $440 in Week Four, making the season’s total $5,543, up from the original $5K.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
The Standard Plays
- Illinois at Nebraska (-7) O/U 43 $100 Nebraska
- Rice at Army (-6) O/U 43 $75 Army, $75 Under
- Tulane (-3) at Louisiana O/U 54.5 $50 Tulane
- Florida (-6) at Mississippi State O/U 58.5 $50 Mississippi State, $50 Under
- Kansas at West Virginia (-2.5) O/U 56 $50 Kansas
- Coastal Carolina at Virginia (-3.5) O/U 55.5 $100 Coastal Carolina
- Arkansas State at Iowa State (-21.5) O/U 51.5 $25 Iowa State, $25 Over
- Arkansas at Auburn (-3) O/U 58.5 $25 Auburn, $25 Under
- UCLA at LSU (-24) O/U 56.5 $50 LSU $50 Over
- Rutgers at Virginia Tech (-3.5) O/U 42.5 $150 Rutgers, $150 Over
- Southern California (-5.5) at Michigan O/U 44.5 $200 Southern California
- Duke (-14.5) at Middle Tennessee State O/U 52 $25 Middle Tennessee State
- Texas Christian (-3) at Southern Methodist O/U 58.5 $50 Texas Christian
- California at Florida State (-3) O/U 44.5 $50 Under
- Northwestern at Washington (-9.5) O/U 44.5 $50 Washington, $50 Under
- Tennessee (-7) at Oklahoma O/U 57.5 $75 Tennessee, $75 Under
- Kansas State (-7.5) at Brigham Young O/U 48 $50 Brigham Young
The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Purdue at Oregon State (-4.5) O/U 50 $50 Under
The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week
Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.
Kent State at Penn State (-49) O/U 56 $75 Over
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Michigan Wolverines.
Louisiana-Monroe at Texas (-42.5) O/U 51 $100 Over
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Iowa (-2.5) at Minnesota O/U 35.5 $500 Iowa
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