If you’re not familiar, Tom Dempsey was an NFL place-kicker from 1969 to 1979. He held the record for the longest field goal ever kicked. His mark stood for almost half-a-century…even if he only had half a foot.
This isn’t the only time Dempsey’s name has lilted about the halls here at Dubsism, but this week something happened that put your blogger in the same shoes as him. I too now only have half a foot. If you’ve been following the Gambling Challenge, you know it’s been a very “up and down” campaign. It seems my bookie investment counselor got tired of my “downs”…more specifically the stories as to why I’m coming up short on cash…and he literally took his pound of flesh.
While I haven’t yet perfected the toe/foot-pound conversion, the one number I know is the J-Dub Gambling Challenge Bankroll got amputated to the tune of $430, leaving the season total at $5,303 to stay over the original $5K.
Actually, if you’re a regular here, you know your blogger has had issues in the recent past. That’s the real culprit behind my leaping past Coach “Prime Time” in total toe amputations. But that story is for another day.
Today’s tale is all about perseverance. Whether it’s trusting in Tennessee just a tad too much or getting four little piggies tossed into a biohazard bag, there comes a time when you just have to lace on your steel-toed hammer-shoe and let it fuckin‘ rip…just like Tom Dempsey did.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
The Standard Plays
- Army at Tulane (-10) O/U 45 $50 Tulane
- Louisiana State at Vanderbilt (-3) O/U 48 $250 Louisiana State
- Baylor at Texas Christian (-3) O/U 65.5 $100 Texas Christian
- Oklahoma (-3.5) at South Carolina O/U 43 $250 Oklahoma
- Texas A&M (-6.5) at Arkansas O/U 58.5 $500 Texas A&M
- Mississippi at Georgia (-6.5) O/U 57 $75 Georgia, $75 Under
- Southern Methodist at Clemson (-6.5) O/U 50.5 $150 Southern Methodist
- Ohio State (-25) at Wisconsin O/U 41 $250 Over
- Penn State at Iowa (-3) O/U 42.5 $150 Under
- Southern California at Notre Dame (-10) O/U 61 $250 Southern California, $250 Over
The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Purdue at Northwestern (-3) O/U 46 $100 Purdue
The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week
Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.
Michigan State at Indiana (-27.5) O/U 49.5 $50 Michigan State, $50 Under
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Miami (FL) Hurricanes.
Louisville at Miami (FL) (-10) O/U 49.5 $100 Louisville
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Washington at Michigan (-4.5) O/U 51 $1,000 Michigan
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