In a move designed both to lessen the impact of Ben Roethlisberger’s impending 6-game “give or take” suspension, the Pittsburgh Steelers have traded the beleaguered quarterback to the Duke Lacrosse Team.

While details of the deal have not yet been made official as of this time, reports have Duke Lacrosse sending two defense attorneys and a disgraced district attorney to Pittsburgh for Roethlisberger and a shady rape charge to be named later.