How many times have we been through this story? I’ll have an answer for that as soon as I can borrow NASA’s supercomputer.  Favre has been a regular Waffle House; since 2002, he has talked several times about walking away from the game, only to return every goddamn time.

King Brett I’s crutch this time is the ankle that was nearly knocked-off his 74-year old body in last January’s NFC Championship Game hasn’t responded to treatment as well as it should have. Sure, it’s easy to say that Favre shouldn’t have waited until May for surgery, but then it would be harder to play the “will I, won’t I” game and have us all believe once again he’s ready to hang it up.

Last year, it was the elbow surgery. The year before that, it was “the love of the game.” This is why Vikings brass aren’t convinced either, but then again, head coach Brad Childress has had King Brett’s dick so far down his throat for the last year he flosses with Favre’s pubes. In other words, the Vi-Queens can’t quit the King, even though the relationship will ultimately destroy the Purple.

Rumors (and as of now, that’s all they are) are circulating the the Queens are ready to re-work King Brett I’s contract to lure him back. Normally, I would say “Don’t bother,” but I really want Favre to wear the Purple at least one more time. Why would such a dedicated Favre-Hater as myself just not want him to go away? Because Favre embodies the fact that Viking fans are at once the at once the stupidest and most desperate fans in the NFL.

Viking fans have thrown in their lot with King Brett I so much they have completely denied reality. They are so desperate to win a Super Bowl they continue to ignore some fundamental facts about their team and Favre. Ask a Viking fan why they lost to the Saints and you will hear a lot of stuff about how they got screwed by the officials. Naturally, to make that leap, you have to ignore five turnovers, including an exceptionally-stupid interception by King Brett I that sealed the Vikings fate. But, some of us tried to warn Vike fans about what Favre really does for a team, but nobody wanted to hear “the Emperor was naked.”

Now, Viking fans, I hope you sell your souls again, and I hope that it brings you nothing but the heartache and misery you so richly deserve. Face it, your non-stop blowing of Brett Favre has turned you as a lot into the worst fans in football (and ironically enough, you had to sink lower than Packer fans to accomplish that feat). To underscore how far you’ve fallen, the only other fan base to sink so low has been that of the Raiders!

So here’s hoping Favre is in fact jerking us all around again. It just guarantees that Minnesota Vikings are taking another step toward cementing themselves as the second-rate franchise they have been been for the last twenty years. Hell, in eighty more, they could become the Chicago Cubs of the NFL.

And even then, Favre will be serving up waffles.