Albeit this has very little to do with sports, it has everything to do with my other favorite past-time.  If you hadn’t heard, there are massive floods occurring in Australia, and I happen to have friends in the disaster area. But more importantly, it is no secret that we here at Dubsism love a laugh, and more so a drinking game. With that, we give you The Queensland Flood Channel 9 News Drinking Game:

YOU WILL NEED:

1. Copious amounts of alcohol
2. To watch 9’s coverage of the floods

Take one drink IF:

1. The news reporter says INUNDATED
2. The news reporter says UNPRECEDENTED
3. The news reporter says EVACUATION
4. The news reporter says CAPACITY
5. The news reporter is standing in water whilst reporting
6. The news reporter makes reference to 1974 floods
7. The news reporter says ‘Rolling Coverage’
8. When the SES Helicopter is shown.
9. The Suncorp Staduim is shown or referenced to

Take two drinks IF:

1. Stock Footage of Wivenhoe dam
2. Stock Footage of Floating aeroplane
3. Stock Footage of Floating Dinghy
4. “WATER OVER ROAD” sign
5. An insurance ad comes on during the break
6. That YouTube video of the cars floating in Toowoomba comes on screen
7. Anything to do with SANDBAGS
8. Stock Footage of old ladies making ham sandwiches at RNA showgrounds
9. Stock Footage of water level meter stick
10. When a reporter says “Queensland’s Darkest Hour”
11. A toothless Ipswich local, appears on screen
12. Stock Footage of the boat hitting the bridge

Take three drinks IF:

1. Stock Footage of a road sign which is the only object above water level
2. Stock Footage of 1974 Floods
3. Stock Footage of people sitting on their roof
4. Floating Furniture
5. Stock Footage of the Football Field in Ipswich
6. News reporter makes reference to the Brisbane River, Wivenhoe Dam, or Condamine
7. Anna Bligh appears on screen
8. If ‘Burst it’s banks’ is said.
9. When the ‘Chasing Cars’ photo slideshow plays

Take four drinks IF:

1. Anna Bligh says INUNDATED
2. Anna Bligh says EVACUATION
3. Anna Bligh makes reference to 1974
4. Anna Bligh says, “This has broken our hearts, but it will not break our will.”

Take five drinks IF:

1. Channel 9 decides to show Two and a Half Men, tonight
2. On rare instances, the reporters (and Anna Bligh) make references to 1893, this is worth 5 drinks.