Every gambler on Earth knows all about how betting lines work. They also know that lines are anything but static. Betting lines move…and sometimes when it does, they can put some instability into another well-known moving line…the gambler’s EKG.

There was an inordinate number of examples of moving lines last week; so much so I thought about keeping a cardiologist on staff here at Dubsism. Maryland at Michigan State, Iowa at Penn State, and Ohio State at Michigan all moved by at least three points. Raise your hand if Ohio State kicking that needless extra-point after that last-second touchdown blew your cover…

But no line gave me heart palpitation quite like the massive movement that happened in the Mississippi-Alabama tilt. If you were like me and grabbed that line when it opened at ‘Bama -16.5, Lane Kiffin’s intermittent case of “head-up-ass” syndrome didn’t cost you. But if you still believed in Ole Miss to cover with the Crimson tide only laying 7…well, that’s why they say timing is everything.

As for yours truly, in the immortal words of Celine Dion, my heart will go on as I survived several of those line-moving heart-attacks. The down side of that is I’m now addicted to the zap of a defibrillator; so much so I’m now fondling light sockets with wet hands. On the positive end, the J-Dub Gambling Challenge got an infusion of $600 to take the season total up to $6,388, up from the original $5K. That might seem like a nice bit of profit, but it’s only worth two office visits to the top-flight cardiologist this gambler’s going to need.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Louisville (-3) at North Carolina State O/U 55.5 $100 Louisville
• Utah (-3.5) at Oregon State O/U 44.5 $50 Oregon State
• Clemson (-6) at Syracuse O/U 44.5 $50 Clemson, $50 Over
• Southern California (-17.5) at Colorado O/U 74 $100 Southern California, $100 Over
• Texas A&M (-6.5) at Arkansas O/U 53.5 $150 Arkansas
• Florida at Kentucky (-1.5) O/U 44 $50 Florida
• Penn State (-21.5) at Northwestern O/U 45 $25 Penn State, $25 Over
• Georgia (-18) at Auburn O/U 46 $75 Under
• Indiana at Maryland (-14) O/U 50 $50 Maryland
• Iowa State at Oklahoma (-14) O/U 48.5 $50 Oklahoma
• Notre Dame (-6.5) at Duke O/U 52 $100 Duke
• Michigan State at Iowa (-7) O/U 38.5 $75 Iowa, $75 Under
• Pittsburgh (-3.5) at Virginia Tech O/U 39.5 $25 Pittsburgh, $25 Under
• West Virginia at Texas Christian (-7) O/U 50 $100 Texas Christian
• San Diego State at Air Force (-10) O/U 43 $50 Air Force
• Alabama (-13.5) at Mississippi State O/U 47 $50 Alabama

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Illinois at Purdue (-1.5) O/U 53.5 $50 Illinois

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

Nevada at Fresno State (-24.) O/U 50.5 $25 Fresno State, $25 Over

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Washington Huskies..

Washington (-21.5) at Arizona O/U 67.5 $100 Washington

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Cincinnati at Brigham Young (-1.5) O/U 48 $500 Brigham Young

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