The J-Dub Gambling Challenge 2023: The “Chop House” Edition

In a previous life, I used to travel on business quite regularly to San Francisco. During the baseball season, a mainstay of those visits was taking in a Giants game, afterward ambling across Willie Mays Way to one of the Bay Area’s true dining delights, the Acme Chop House.

In the gambling world, a “chop” happens in a basement poker game at your buddy’s house when a hand ends in tie. I’ve borrowed that term for my own use to describe when I split a bet; hitting the spread but missing the total or vice versa.

The Manhattan: Two parts bourbon, one part Vermouth, a dash of Angostura…love in a glass.

While the Acme Chop House closed back in 2009 (there’s irony in going to San Francisco to get one of the world’s best Manhattans), I kept the “chop” concept alive with last week’s results. I found myself on both sides of so many bets I literally lost count. I never had that problem with the Acme Chop House’s Manhattans…two were usually enough to sufficiently blur my vision.

On that note, hopefully I can keep my vision clear enough to keep my winning streak going…despite last week’s “Chop House” outcome. As far as the results are concerned, the J-Dub Gambling Challenge sharpened it’s blade to carve out a gain of $168 last week, bringing the season total to $6,740, up from the original $5K.

The Dubsism Legal Department…complete with extra cheese.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

The Standard Plays

  • Fresno State (-4.5) at Utah State O/U 49.5 $100 Fresno State
  • Stanford at Colorado (-8) O/U 59.5 $100 Colorado, $100 Over
  • Syracuse at Florida State (-16.5) O/U 56 $50 Syracuse
  • Arkansas at Alabama (-19.5) O/U 49.5 $75 Arkansas
  • Indiana at Michigan (-34.5) O/U 49 $50 Over
  • Brigham Young at Texas Christian (-6) O/U 52.5 $150 Brigham Young
  • Texas A&M at Tennessee (-3) O/U 55 $100 Tennessee
  • Iowa at Wisconsin (-9.5) O/U 40.5 $250 Under
  • Auburn at Louisiana State (-13.5) O/U 56.5 $100 Auburn, $100 Over
  • Wyoming at Air Force (-10.5) O/U 44.5 $75 Wyoming, $75 Under
  • Miami (FL) at North Carolina (-3.5) O/U 57 $200 North Carolina
  • Southern California at Notre Dame (-2.5) O/U 62.5 $75 Southern California
  • Missouri at Kentucky (-2.5) O/U 51.5 $100 Kentucky
  • UCLA at Oregon State (-3.5) O/U 54.5 $100 Oregon State, $100 Over

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Ohio State (-20.5) at Purdue O/U 51.5 $50 Purdue, $50 Under

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

Massachusetts at Penn State (-43) O/U 54.5 $50 Under

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Washington Huskies..

Oregon at Washington (-3) O/U 67 $100 Over

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Michigan State at Rutgers (-2.5) O/U 39 $750 Rutgers

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One thought on “The J-Dub Gambling Challenge 2023: The “Chop House” Edition”

  1. I had a solid week on my end. Hit three wagers overall, which is never a bad thing.
    Had JAX/CIN moneyline parlay which I think paid around 1.5 times my money.
    Had WAS/HOU two-teamer. Giggity.
    And I threw $20 on Colorado State to win outright. You know you’re having a good week when you win a wager on a hail mary.

    Like

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