I can tell you from first-hand experience that as a rule, pilots avoid heavy weather like gamblers avoid “trap” games. A hurricane can blow an aircraft right out of the sky; a line that seems to good to be true can the “bait” luring a gambler’s bankroll to ruin. But there are pilots and gamblers who deliberately defy the odds.
Thursday saw the “Hurricane Hunters” flying through Hurricane Helene providing all of us with regular updates on this gargantuan storm. I’ve never flown into the heart of a hurricane in the name of science, but I’ve put money on plenty lines I should have avoided in the name of sanity.
Oddly enough, it’s those same “Hurricane Hunters” who can effect those lines. With high winds and torrential rain forecast over the heart of BiG TenPlusEight country courtesy of the remnants of Helene, there’s going to be plenty of over/unders just screaming for gamblers to do of bit of hurricane hunting of their own.
Having said that, this week’s Nebraska – Purdue line is exactly the sort of line which just may prove to be “too good to be true.” But just like last week, as a public service we’re here to bet it for you. And just like last week, in spite of yet another Boiler “toilet-spatter,” the J-Dub Gambling Challenge pulled in a solid $265 in Week Five, making the season’s total $5,543, up from the original $5,828.
But will it weather the storm?
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
The Standard Plays
- Oklahoma State at Kansas State (-5.5) O/U 55 $50 Kansas State
- Maryland at Indiana (-7) O/U 53 $100 Maryland, $100 Under
- Minnesota at Michigan (-9) O/U 35.5 $150 $150 Michigan
- Arkansas at Texas A&M (-4) 51 $75 Texas A&M, $75 Over
- Oklahoma (-2) at Auburn O/U 45 $50 Oklahoma
- Louisville at Notre Dame (-7.5) O/U 45 $75 Louisville, $75 Under
- Wisconsin at Southern California (-15.5) O/U 51 $150 Southern California
- Georgia (-2) at Alabama $100 Alabama
- Illinois at Penn State (-18) O/U 47.5 $50 Illinois, $50 Under
- Ohio State (-23.5) at Michigan State O/U 48 $100 Ohio State
- Florida State at Southern Methodist (-6) O/U 47.5 $75 Southern Methodist
The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Nebraska (-10) at Purdue O/U 47 $100 Under
The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week
Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.
Oregon (-25.5) at UCLA O/U 55.5 $75 Oregon
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Texas Longhorns.
Mississippi State at Texas (-38.5) O/U 62.5 $50 Texas, $50 Over
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Brigham Young at Baylor (-3.5) O/U 45.5 $500 Brigham Young
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