This is my Buc-ee’s mug. There are many like it, but this one is mine. With November 10th right around the corner (#IYKYK), it felt like high time to mention the importance of my Buc-ee’s mug. They say the most dangerous weapon on earth is a U.S. Marine and his rifle But on the twelve-ish greatest Saturdays of the Year, there’s nothing better than being truly prepared for the “3 Gs” of a college football Saturday: the gridiron, grilling, and of course…gambling.
That’s makes my Buc-ee’s mug the weapon of choice. It’s large capacity gives it the needed munitions capacity for a full day of bottle-to-glass combat. It’s superior insulation will keep those munitions cold even if I’m attempting to flash-broil an entire buffalo with a 500-gallon drop tank of napalm. Those characteristics give the Buc-ee’s mug it’s unmatched ability to support the guzzling gambler…be those glugs sorrowful or celebratory.
Last week the latter was the case, as that truck-stop tumbler played a major role in the J-Dub Gambling Challenge gassed up to the tune of $1,090 , bringing the season total to $6,308 from the original $5K.
Now it’s time to lock and re-load…
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
The Standard Plays
- Mississippi (-7.5) at Arkansas O/U 53.5 $100 Arkansas
- Duke at Miami (FL) (-20) O/U 54.5 $50 Miami (FL), $50 Over
- Ohio State (-3.5) at Penn State O/U 46.5 $100 Ohio State, $100 Under
- Auburn (-7.5) at Vanderbilt O/U 48 $75 Vanderbilt
- Indiana (-7) at Michigan State O/U 52.5 $150 Indiana
- Oregon (-14.5) at Michigan O/U 39.5 $200 Over
- UCLA at Nebraska (-7) O/U 39 $250 Nebraska
- Texas A&M (-3) at South Carolina O/U 44 $250 Texas A&M
- Louisville at Clemson (-10.5) O/U 62 $50 Louisville
- Wisconsin at Iowa (-2.5) O/U 41.5 $100 Iowa, $100 Under
- Kentucky at Tennessee (-17.5) O/U 45.5 $150 Over
- Pittsburgh at Southern Methodist (-7) O/U 57 $75 Southern Methodist, $75 Over
The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Northwestern at Purdue (-1) O/U 45 $50 Under
The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week
Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.
Air Force at Army (-22) O/U 41 $100 Army
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Georgia Bulldogs.
Florida at Georgia (-13.5) O/U 51.5 $100 Georgia
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Minnesota (-4) at Illinois O/U 43.5 $500 Illinois, $500 Over
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