As I’ve said before, Week Zero is just the “pre-season” for gambling. In the NFL, the games themselves don’t count, but the stakes are still very real. Players can get hurt, players get cut, and careers can be made or lost. But players are gonna play. Regardless of the level of football…regardless of your gambling preferences…that’s what we do.
Being the time of year when guys are trying to make teams, the pre-season is full of players who never make it to the “real” roster. Oddly enough, a lot of those guys wear the number 23. On the other end, there’s only two players in the Hall of Fame who wore that number: Guy Chamberlain and Devin Hester.
Now, I’m sure there is a Viking fan out there getting ready to tell me how under-rated Ted Brown was, but the point is the 23 on his back is also what the J-Dub Gambling Challenge Bankroll roll lost in “pre-season” Week Zero. But now the stakes get real for everybody. While the schedule is still ramping up, there’s still some shots at making some Hall of Fame numbers.
But seriously, has anybody heard from Ted Brown lately?
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
The Standard Plays
- Northwestern at Tulane (-5.5) O/U 46 $50 Tulane
- Texas at Ohio State (-1.5) O/U 47.5 $50 Texas
- Louisiana State at Clemson (-3.5) O/U 57.5 $50 Clemson, $50 Under
- Georgia Southern at Fresno State (-2) O/U 51.5 $100 Fresno State
- Utah (-6) at UCLA O/U 52 $75 UCLA, $75 Under
- Virginia Tech at South Carolina (-7.5) O/U 52 $100 South Carolina
- Notre Dame (-2.5) at Miami (FL) O/U 49.5 $50 Miami (FL)
The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Ball State at Purdue (-18) O/U 49.5 $50 Purdue, $50 Over
The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week
Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.
Nevada at Penn State (-44) O/U 56.5 $50 Over
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Florida Gators.
Long Island at Florida OFF
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Syracuse at Tennessee (-14) O/U 51 $250 Tennessee, $250 Over
Got a question, comment, or just want to yell at us? Hit us up at dubsism@yahoo.com, @Dubsism on Twitter, or on our Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook pages, and be sure to bookmark Dubsism.com so you don’t miss anything from the most interesting independent sports blog on the web.
Dubsism 