That’s what you get this week. No frills, no flowery narrative, just straight up gambling in a “dollar store” can. Week 11 saw an avoidance of complete disaster; the J-Dub Gambling Challenge Bankroll picked up $190 to get back into the black. This leaves the season total at $5,100, up from the original $5K.

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LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• South Florida (-9.5) at Navy O/U 64.5 $200 South Florida
• Kansas State (-20.5) at Oklahoma State O/U 52.5 $100 Kansas State $100 Over
• Notre Dame (-12.5) at Pittsburgh O/U 55.5 $250 Notre Dame
• Wisconsin at Indiana (-29.5) O/U 44 $150 Over
• Michigan (-11.5) at Northwestern O/U 44 $250 Under
• Arkansas at Louisiana State (-5.5) 56 $75 Louisiana State
• Oklahoma at Alabama (-6) O/U 49 $150 Alabama, $150 Under
• Virginia at Duke (-5.5) O/U $250 Virginia
• Iowa at Southern California (-6.5) O/U 49.5 $250 Iowa
• Texas at Georgia (-6) 48.5 $100 Under
• Penn State (-7) at Michigan State $250 Under

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Purdue at Washington (-16.5) 48 $100 Washington

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

New Mexico State at Tennessee (-39.5) O/U 61.5 $50 Under

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the California Golden Bears.

California is idle this week, but if you are one of those sick futures players, tough luck! The Golden Bears aren’t on the board because they aren’t making the play-off.

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

South Carolina at Texas A$M (-14.5) 50.5 $1,000 South Carolina

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