It is no secret I’m a life-long New York Jets fan. I’ve written about that here plenty of times. Way back in the day, I participated in a round table discussion here about which National Football League (NFL) team has the worst fans. But the other day, that fat jack-off J-Dub took a cheap shot at me by comparing Jets fans to another team which he talks a lot of shit about.

“How can you tell a New York Jets fan from a Minnesota Vikings fan? The accents.”

~J-Dub

He has a point when it comes to pure stereotyping. It’s true there’s a shit-load of Viking fans who sound like extras from the movie Fargo. It’s also true nobody sounds more like a typical Jersey greaseball than I do. That’s the worst part of shit like this. I can’t stand it when that fat cocksucker is right.

I found that out the right away when I called him out on this. Most times, it’s easy to challenge whatever pops out of his blow-hole. But every once in a while, that hippo colon with a face says something that suggest those diplomas on his wall didn’t come from a post office box. In this case, he defended himself with six pretty solid points…and every fucking one of them are true as they are shared by both Jets and Vikings fans.

That’s why were here to help you be able to tell them apart.

1) They have been waiting since 1969 for a championship

We all know the Jets shook up the world by winning Super Bowl III in January of 1969. But what everybody forgets is the Minnesota Vikings captured the NFL Championship for the 1969 season when they beat the Cleveland Browns in the NFL Championship Game on January 4th, 1970. Despite the fact they lost Super Bowl IV, the Vikings are still on the books as the NFL Champions because the merger between the NFL and the American Football League (AFL) wasn’t completed until after the 1970 season.

In other words, the Super Bowl did not determine the NFL Champion until Super Bowl V in January 1971.  Either way, neither of these teams have seen the top of the mountain since the year we landed on the moon, and we may have to dig up Neil Fucking Armstrong before it ever happens again.

2) They have endured legendary fuck-ups

The only difference here is recency. While “Wrong Way” Marshall happened 60 years ago for the Vikings, it lived in infamy until the dawn of the internet as it was the signature NFL Films “blooper.”

However, I must admit the “Butt-Fumble” is going to age like Bill Cosby’s roofie-jizz as the entire vision of Mark Sanchez eating ass is going to change dramatically with his impending prison sentence.

3) They created self-important “fan/mascots“

This is the part where I should remind you all to send your hate mail to J-Dub. When we discussed this point…well, in more of his exact words.

“Both those two [Fireman Ed and Ragnar] look like if you let your fourth-grader wear his Halloween costume until his doctor said he needed a colonoscopy.”

~J-Dub

I can’t say he’s wrong. Either way, the problem is both Fireman Ed and Ragnar were little more than fans who caught enough camera time to make somebody think promoting them to an “unofficial” mascot was a good idea.

We all know firemen became heroes in New York after 9/11. That’s why the Jets kept putting “Fireman Ed” on the Jumbo-Tron belting out the now-famous “J-E-T-S” chant. Meanwhile, the Vikings decided to let Ragnar ride in full regalia on the field on a chopper…paying historic homage to Minnesota’s Scandinavian ancestors who pillaged medieval Europe in fake fur vests and modified Harleys.

In any event, both these guys overestimated their own importance. Fireman Ed bitched about the amount of screen time he gets at MetLife Field. He found out that nobody really cares. But at least he didn’t try to hold up his team for 200K per year.

“Ragnar the Viking is no more.

Joe Juranitch, the Minnesota man who has played the Vikings’ fur-clad, motorcycle-riding mascot…has left the team after contract negotiations went awry. Juranitch reportedly asked for $20,000 per game for 10 years, a massive raise over the approximately $1,500 per game he received last year to wear fur and ride a motorcycle at football games. This would come to a total of $160,000 for eight home games per season, or $200,000 if preseason matchups were included.

“The Vikings greatly appreciate what Ragnar has meant to the organization and to the fans over the last two decades,” the Vikings said in a statement….We will always consider Ragnar an important part of Vikings history.”

~SB Nation

You should always know your value…especially if you’re just some fat fuck with a costume and a chopper.

4) They love dorky white receivers

Let the parade of names begin. From the Jets, we can go back in time to the days of Don Maynard, George Sauer, or Wayne Chrebet. In Minnesota, the list is a bit more recent, but decidedly as dorky. Think names like Jim Gustafson, Stu Voigt, and most recently Adam Theilen.

Yeah, I know Voigt was technically a tight end, but he still fits the description…dorky white guys who caught a lot of footballs.

To be fair, I’ll allow my fellow Jets’ fans to make all the “Kyle Brady” comments comments they want.

5) They can’t quit re-tread quarterbacks

It just doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about the “Big Apple” or Minneapolis, Jets and Vikings fans have a habit of falling for guys who were pretty good somewhere else, might have shown glimpses of  greatness in the purple or green, but ultimately left both fan bases disappointed.

In Minnesota, some of the notable names include Warren Moon, Randall Cunningham, and Case Keenum. For the New Yorkers, think along the lines of Boomer Esiason, Vinny Testaverde, and Aaron Rodgers. Don’t forget that current Viking head coach Kevin O’Connell was once a New York Jet quarterback.

Besides, we can’t go without mentioning the best-known common thread here…Brett Favre

6) The MinneYork Jet-Kings

Speaking of “common threads,” there’s a shockingly high amount of cross-over between the historical rosters of these two franchises. This is just a select list, but there’s plenty of names here to bring up the lunches of Jet and Viking fans for quite some time.

Player	Position	College	Years with New York Jets	Years with Minnesota Vikings
Bollinger, Brooks	QB	Wisconsin	2003-2005	2006-2007
Brien, Doug	K	California	2003-2004	2002
Brister, Bubby	QB	Northeast Louisiana	1995	2000
Carter, Tyrone	DB	Minnesota	2003	2000-2002
Conklin, Tyler	TE	Central Michigan	2022-2024	2018-2021
Cook, Dalvin	RB	Florida State	2023	2017-2022
Cowart, Sam	LB	Florida State	2002-2004	2005
Darnold, Sam	QB	Southern California	2018-2020	2024
Ducasse, Vlad	OG	Massachusetts	2010-2013	2014
Favre, Brett	QB	Southern Mississippi	2008	2009-2010
Fiedler, Jay	QB	Dartmouth	2005	1998
Graham, Scottie	RB	Ohio State	1992	1993-1996
Harvin, Percy	WR	Florida	2014	2009-2012
Marinaro, Ed	RB	Cornell	1976	1972-1975
Merriweather, Mike	LB	Pacific	1993	1989-1992
Mosley, C.J.	DT	Missouri	2006-2008	2005
Nwangwu, Kene	RB	Iowa State	2024-2025	2021-2023
Phillips, Harrison	DT	Stanford	2025	2022-2024
Quigley, Ryan	P	Boston College	2013-2015	2017
Ramsey, Patrick	QB	Tulane	2006	2010
Reynaud, Darius	RB	West Virginia	2013	2008-2009
Richardson, Sheldon	DT	Missouri	2013-2016	2018-2021
Richardson, Tony	RB	Auburn	2008-2010	2006-2007
Schreiber, Adam	C	Texas	1988-1989	1990-1993
Sheppard, Lito	DB	Florida	2009	2010
Siemian, Trevor	QB	Northwestern	2019-2023	2018
Wiggins, Jermaine	TE	Georgia	2000	2004-2006

Note the number of quarterbacks on that list. See what I mean?

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