The J-Dub Gambling Challenge 2017: The “F**king Kickers” Edition
Kickers are an odd sort. They’re monstrously vital to your football team as they are invariably a team’s leading scorer, and you can’t win games if you don’t score points. But they are also incredibly maddening if you are a gambler. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t seem to lose a lot of spread plays because of missed kicks. But can’t tell you much I’ve hemorrhaged over the years because some scrawny little ex-soccer player doinked an extra point off an upright and ultimately screwed my over/under bet.
Needless to say, that’s what killed the bank roll last week; some big bets all lost by less than a fucking field goal. That means while I’m bleeding into a plastic bag down at the plasma center so I can buy enough ramen to stay alive until payday, there’s some fucking kicker somewhere still on on scholarship when he should plowing a turnip field with a donkey back in Where-ever-istan after he gacked three kicks.
Sure, you can call that bitterness, but I call it gambling, and one thing you can say about gamblers is we are dedicated. The worst year for the J-Dub Gambling Challenge continues it’s Bataan Death March with another four-figure beat down, leaving the bank roll at $2,578. With only a few weeks left in the season, this looks to be a losing season for the Challenge, unless we hit a few late-season “Hail Marys.”
Eighty-yard field goals happen, don’t they? <fart noise>
Having said that, let’s get ready to gamble…
DISCLAIMER: Because gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir… and when it comes to gambling, I slice like Jack the Ripper working the deli coumter on crystal meth. That’s why this in no way, shape or form is a gambling advice column, and all “bets” are mythical in nature. In other words, don’t come crying to me when you lose your house payment betting real money like I’m “betting” Monopoly money.
- Southern Methodist at Memphis (-12.5) O/U 74.5 $75 Memphis
- Mississippi State (-11.5) at Arkansas O/U 59 $75 Mississippi State
- Texas at West Virginia (-3.5) O/U 53.5 $100 West Virginia
- Texas Christian (-7) at Texas Tech O/U 57 $100 Texas Christian
- Michigan at Wisconsin (-7.5) O/U 39 $200 Wisconsin
- Fresno State (-2.5) at Wyoming O/U 39.5 $75 Wyoming
- Iowa State (-9.5) at Baylor O/U 52 $100 Iowa State
- Navy at Notre Dame (-18) O/U 58.5 $75 Navy, 75 Under
- Purdue at Iowa (-7.5) O/U 41.5 $75 Under
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
Virginia at Miami (FL) (-11) O/U 50.5
$100 Miami (FL)
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
Missouri (-7.5) at Vanderbilt O/U 66
$300 Missouri
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So the good news is, after Week 11, I’m still alive in one of my eliminator pools.
1418 entered. 16 left. Top ten pay.
Who am I picking this week, brother. Repeat picks are allowed.
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