What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
In gambler-speak, the “juice” is the cost of doing business. Usually 10% of the amount being wagered, “the juice” is the price you pay to the house to place your bet. In other words, if you want to lay 50 bucks on a line, you’re going to pay $55. “The juice” is also why the game of sports betting is not-so-slightly stacked against the bettor. On that $50 bet, after you’ve made your play and paid “the juice,” on a winner you only net $45.
This is why to get ahead in this game, you have to win 55% of your bets just to break even, and more like 60% to make money. That’s not even the worst part; there’s the dreaded “push.” For the non-gambler, a “push” is a bet nobody wins; essentially they are ties. For example, if you look at the this week’s “Heavyweight” bet, if the final score of that game ends up Penn State 49, Kent State 14, both plays would be “pushes,” because Penn State would win by exactly 35 points, and the total points scored would be exactly 63. Nobody wins, nobody .loses. The bettor gets his $50 back, but the house keeps the $5 “juice.”
That’s where the house makes it;s money.
No matter what happens, the house gets to peel 10% of all the action off the top and put it in their pocket. Form a probability and statistics perspective, “the juice” is the sports betting world’s answer to “0” and “00” on a Standard American roulette wheel. Almost all bets lose on a zero space, which means the house gets to peel off roughly 5.6% of all bets and likewise pocket them.
That brings us to last week’s results. The J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll just took a “juice cleanse” to the tune of $228, because the majority of the dollars I pissed away were paid in the form of “the juice.”
This is why I’m convinced Paula Abdul was a gambler, not just because of the obvious risk involved in sleeping with Emilio Estevez; but because her 80’s ear-worm “Promise of a New Day” is the spirit of what keeps us degenerate gamblers going. Whether it’s a new day or a new week, once the sun comes out, I’m paying “the juice” tomorrow…because I’m gambler, and that’s what gamblers do.
After having given a gambling lesson and mixing some musical metaphors, let’s get ready to gamble…
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football. That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
Kent State at Penn State (-35) O/U 63
$25 Kent State, $25 Under
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
Washington (-6.5) at Utah O/U 47
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For the record, Mr. Abdul, this weekend I took TCU, Illinois and Syracuse all money line.
I’ll save you a spot at the plasma center.