What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
If you don’t follow college football, you may not remember a few years back when there was a tongue-in-cheek attempt to replace the “Rebel” mascot at the University of Mississippi with Admiral Akbar of Star Wars fame. If you’re like me and you like to wager on the college game, certain lines will bring his most famous utterance to the forefront of your consciousness.
Whether you’re attacking the Death Star or perusing the latest lines, “traps” are never a good thing. In the “Gamble-verse,” a “trap” is a line that at first glance looks deceptively like “easy” money. As explained in my recent gambling primer, parlays are almost always “traps;” the bait being the lure of easy money.
But that bait still has allure in the world of straight bets. The classic example is when it’s commonly accepted that Team A is better than Team B, yet Team A is getting points as an “underdog.” As the gambler, you lay your cash on what looks to be an easy winner. But Vegas knows something you don’t. Then come Saturday afternoon, Darth Vader hops out of the point spread and shoves his light saber straight through your wallet.
Last week was full of such traps, but as true gambling Jedi, I managed to avoid most of them. The key word in the previous sentence is “most;” you would be correct to interpret that as “not all.” In other words, the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll dodged most of the asteroid field in Week 3, but did get nicked for a net loss of $65, making the total on the season so far $4,895 from the original $5K.
Being down 105 bucks after three weeks of an exceptionally unstable “Gamble-verse” ain’t too shabby, and the upcoming week isn’t lacking it’s fair share of traps. But since I’m not one to turn to the “Dark Side…”
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Purdue at Notre Dame (-7) O/U 57.5 $25 Notre Dame, $25 Under
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Alabama Crimson Tide.
Alabama (-14) at Florida O/U 54.5 $100 Over
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Cincinnati (-3) at Indiana O/U 46.5 $500 Cincinnati
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