There was a time when The Ramones asked us if we remembered rack and roll radio? For purposes of this discussion, the question is do you remember gold, old-school sports radio. I’m not talking about the shit that passes for sports radio today. Instead, this is all about when a good AM transistor radio was your key to a world that television wasn’t yet bringing you.

Depending on where you lived, the simple turn of a knob could bring you just about anything, especially at night when the signal from those 50,000-watt AM stations could cover amazing distances. It got even better with those “pirate” 200,000-watt blow-torches of sound broadcasting from just across the Mexican border.

As a kid in southern California, a nine-dollar Panasonic radio was little J-Dub’s window to the sports world. A major reason why I became such a feral sports was that little Japanese-made electronic box brought four legendary voices to my ear. There was Larry Miller on the mike for Los Angeles Kings hockey, Chick Hearn calling Los Angeles Laker basketball, Dick Enberg bringing California Angels baseball and Los Angeles Rams football, all topped off by the iconic Vin Scully as the voice of the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Time simply does not allow how such sports fandom led to my being a degenerate gambler, but I’ll bet you can come up with a theory. Hell, those of you of sufficient age (I’m looking at you, SportsChump) may just be able to share a similar tale.

That’s really the matter at hand here. It really isn’t important if the pointer on your dial landed more often on music or sports, the point here is all about point spreads.

To that end, the J-Dub Gambling dialed all the way to AM $750, which puts the season total at $5, 835…up from the original $5K. Let’s just hope my batteries don’t die this week…

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Louisiana State (-9.5) at Mississippi State O/U 54.5 $50 Mississippi State
• Penn State (-13) at Illinois O/U 47.5 $50 Penn State, $50 Over
• Louisville (-10) at Indiana O/U 50.5 $100 Louisville
• Florida State (-25.5) at Boston College O/U 48 $75 Florida State, $75 Over
• Kansas State (-5) at Missouri O/U 48 $100 Kansas State
• South Alabama at Oklahoma State (-7) O/U 48.5 $200 Oklahoma State
• Tennessee (-6.5) at Florida O/U 58.5 $150 Tennessee
• Vanderbilt (-4.5) at Nevada-Las Vegas O/U 59 $100 Vanderbilt
• Pittsburgh at West Virginia (-3) O/U 47.5 $50 Pittsburgh, $50 Under
• Brigham Young at Arkansas (-8) O/U 47.5 $75 Brigham Young
• Colorado State at Colorado (-23.5) O/U 58 $100 Over
• Texas Christian (-7.5) at Houston 62.5 $100 Texas Christian, $100 Under

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Syracuse (-3.5) at Purdue O/U 58 $25 Purdue, $25 Over

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

Hawaii at Oregon (-38) O/U 69 $50 Under

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Washington Huskies..

Washington (-16.5) at Michigan State O/U 55.5 $50 Washington, $50 Under

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Minnesota at North Carolina (-6.5) O/U 51 $500 North Carolina

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P.S. Here’s The Ramones posing the original question…

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