Remember a few weeks back when I warned of the “Gales of November?” Well, unlike the lyrics to that goddamn Gordon Lightfoot ear-rape, they didn’t come early…they were right on fucking time.
You guessed it. Last week wasn’t a casual drive down the Carefree Highway. Instead I got hung-up on a crossing and got T- boned by a Canadian Railroad Trilogy of locomotives barreling along at about 90 mph. Not only that, but they were hauling about a mile-and-a-half worth of Steel Rail Blues, mostly made up of the dreaded non-cover winners or just good, old-fashioned being on the wrong end of the action.
In other words, If You Could Read My Mind, you would know I got clipped to the tune of $940, which means the season total is still up from the original $5K at $8,203. Sure, last Saturday may have been a rough one, but it’s only one day…not the Sundown of the season.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
The Standard Plays
- Colorado at Washington State (-4.5) O/U 64.5 $50 Colorado, $50 Over
- Louisville at Miami (FL) (-1.5) O/U 52.5 $250 Louisville
- Oklahoma (-24) at Brigham Young O/U 57.5 $100 Oklahoma
- Southern Mississippi at Mississippi State (-14) O/U 46.5 $75 Mississippi State, $75 Over
- Michigan State at Indiana (-5) O/U 47.5 $100 Under
- Rutgers at Penn State (-17.5) O/U 44.5 $150 Penn State
- Utah (-1) at Arizona O/U 44.5 $125 Utah
- Duke (-3.5) at Virginia O/U 46 $250 Duke
- UCLA at Southern California (-12) O/U 65.5 $200 UCLA, $200 Over
- Illinois at Iowa (-4.5) O/U 30.5 $100 Under
- California (-4.5) at Stanford O/U 58.5 $50 California
- Kansas State (-3) at Kansas O/U 55 $75 Kansas, $75 Under
- Florida at Missouri (-10.5) O/U 58.5 $100 Missouri
- Kentucky (-3.5) at South Carolina O/U 50.5 $100 Kentucky, $100 Under
- Nebraska at Wisconsin (-5) O/U 37 $75 Wisconsin, $75 Under
- Texas (-8.5) at Iowa State O/U 49.5 $250 Texas
The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Purdue at Northwestern (-1.5) O/U 48.5 $50 Northwestern
The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week
Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.
Minnesota ay Ohio State (-28.5) O/U 49 $100 Under
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Washington Huskies.
Washington (-2.5) at Oregon State O/U 2.5 $150 Washington
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Georgia (-7) at Tennessee O/U 59.5 $1,000 Georgia
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