Today’s Argument: Another heartbreak is coming for the long-suffering fans of the Minnesota Vikings.

I lived in Minnesota for over fifteen years. To this day, my world is brimming with friends who are unfortunate to have been cursed with Viking fandom. They are some damn fine people, but the historic futility of that franchise has left their fans in a chronic state of optimistic delusion.

Don’t get me wrong; I understand this phenomenon entirely, As a Philadelphia Eagles fan, I live in a world where my team bum-rushes winning coaches to watch them win Super Bowls somewhere else and we fans ogle the asses of back-up quarterbacks with eyes toward dumping a stalwart starter.

In other words, as a life-long football fan, I’ve learned to recognize a pattern, and as yet another public service, I’m here to try and keep you purple people from eating yet another turd-burger. See, we Eagles fans have a wandering eye, but you Viking fans have a habit of falling in fall in love with strippers. Believe me, no matter what she tells you…and no matter what you think…she’s doesn’t really like you and there’s no sex Super Bowl in the Champagne Room.

It happens like this. You go through a rough break-up, then one night you head down to a strip club with a pocket full of singles and heart full of hope. Remember what happened after Brett Favre left? A string of bad relationships until you had that one-nighter with Case Keenum. Your hopes got Super Bowl high after the “Minneapolis Miracle,” only to end with a flop in Philadelphia…while we were eye-balling Nick Foles over the injured Carson Wentz.

See how this works?

Well. guess what, Viking fans? Case Keenum is back. The only difference is this time his name is Sam Darnold. Everything else should feel familiar. After all, “Stripper” Sam checks the same boxes as Keenum. of the boxes have already been checked.

• Have an injury situation which drives some uncomfortable decisions at quarterback.

Viking fans, don’t act like your team didn’t draft J.J. McCarthy with the express purpose of making him the starter…if not right away, then at least at some point this season. Conversely, don’t act like you didn’t want Sam Darnold under center.

• The Vikings get off to a great start, including a signature, hope-inspiring win.

Face it. Vikings fans are loving being 4-0 with wins over what may very well be three play-off teams. Unless the wheels come completely off Minnesota’s wagon Sunday in London, the Purple will hit the bye week riding the inside rail to the play-offs.

• The fanbase’s thirst for a Super Bowl leads to fact-obscuring hope.

That’s the free square on a “Bingo” card. Not only was this blog’s very genesis about Viking fans and Brett Favre, but never forget no team has lost more NFC Championship games than Minnesota. That means the run-up to all those championship losses were filled with escalating fan hope ignoring some dream-crushing facts.

If you really want to set the “Wayback Machine” for the “Keenum Year” in 2017, feel free to argue the warning signs abounding in that particular play-off run. I’d suggest starting with the December loss to the Carolina Panthers, but I’ll reserve that entire discussion for the aforementioned “hard-core” fans.

As far as 2024 is concerned, the discussion becomes where will the warning signs come…and what will they be? Did the 1^st one come in the 2^nd half of last week’s Packers game? Only time will tell, but effectively blowing a three-score lead in under one quarter of football doesn’t have a lot of positives in it.

But there was another warning sign in that game. Am I the only one who noticed the Viking offense largely disappeared after the 1^st quarter? The best drive they had after that ended with a Sam Darnold interception, which brings us to…

• CaseSam KeenumDarnold

…the proverbial “elephant in the room; the stripper you’re falling in love with. More years than not, the NFL brings us the “resurgent/resurrected” quarterback story…you know, the guy who came out of college with the highest of expectations, ended up in a crap organization, and whose “re-birth” is always festooned with tags like “flourishing under a new system/coaching” or the dreaded “just needed a change of address.”

Sam Darnold is clearly that guy in 2024.

While franchises like the Jets and the David Tepper-era Carolina Panthers aren’t exactly cradles of quarterbacks, and guys can become a football phoenix rising from the ashes, it’s also true rookie quarterbacks in bad organizations can come away with bad habits that stick. I’m not saying that’s the case here; but the sample size on Sam Darnold isn’t big enough to say the opposite either.

Ignoring what I saw in three quarters of that Green Bay game is another exercise in falling in love with the stripper. I’ve watched you Viking fans make that mistake so many times before. In other words, before you take your new “special friend” home to met the parents, make sure Sam Darnold isn’t giving you another case of VD (Viking Delusion).

Change my mind.

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