The J-Dub Gambling Challenge 2024: The “Saturdaius Tandem” Edition

Here we are…Saturdaius Tandem…the fifteenth and final of the Twelve Greatest Saturdays of the Year. Yeah, I know the numbers don’t jibe, but what else would you expect? We now have a college football world with the B1G Ten having being more like the B1G EightTenTeen, the Big 12 with sixteen, and California and Stanford in the Atlantic Coast Conference.

Speaking of numbers, Saturdaius Tandem also represents the last time we look at the level of the J-Dub Gambling Challenge Bankroll. The graphic above should tell all you need to know. I’m riding a “bull” market heading into the conclusion of the regular season, having had three straight blood-lettings; last week dropping another $770. This leaves the season total down from the original $5K at $3,838. That makes for the lowest total heading into the final week since 2016.

But, “bear” markets can become “bullish” in a big hurry, and there’s only one way to find out which way I’m going to end up….

The Dubsism Legal Department…complete with extra cheese.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

The Standard Plays

  • Oklahoma State at Colorado (-16.5) O/U 65 $50 Colorado
  • Minnesota at Wisconsin (-1.5) O/U 41.5 $50 Under
  • Georgia Tech at Georgia (-21.5) O/U 53 $75 Georgia Tech
  • Nebraska at Iowa (-3) O/U 42.5 $100 Iowa, $100 Under
  • Louisville (-3.5) at Kentucky O/U 48 $100 Louisville
  • Tennessee (-11) at Vanderbilt O/U 48.5 $150 Tennessee
  • Michigan at Ohio State (-20.5) O/U 43.5 $75 Under
  • Pittsburgh at Boston College (-5) O/U 49.5 $50 Pittsburgh
  • Auburn at Alabama (-11.5) O/U 52.5 $50 Over
  • Arkansas at Missouri (-3) O/U 54 $100 Missouri
  • Arizona State (-7) at Arizona O/U 53.5 $200 Arizona
  • North Carolina State at North Carolina (-3.5) O/U 55.5 $50 North Carolina State
  • Maryland at Penn State (-24.5) O/U 50.5 $50 Under
  • Notre Dame (-7.5) at Southern California O/U 51.5 $50 Southern California
  • Texas (-5.5) at Texas A&M O/U 49 $100 Texas A&M
  • Washington at Oregon (-18.5) O/U 51 $75 Over
  • Virginia at Virginia Tech (-7.5) O/U 48.5 $100 Under
  • Houston at Brigham Young (-13) O/U 41 $100 Brigham Young

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Purdue at Indiana (-29) O/U 52.5 $100 Over

* – Normally, this would qualify as the Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week, but a feature bet is a feature bet.

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

Mississippi State at Mississippi (-26) O/U 61.5 $100 Mississippi State

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Florida Gators.

Florida (-15) at Florida State O/U 45.5 $50 Florida State

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Illinois (-5.5) at Northwestern O/U 44 $1,000 Illinois

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