Gamblers gamble. Bloggers who gamble might just have some sort of challenge. You’re reading one right now.

Regardless of the calendar you’re using, this was the week his alma mater the University of Florida got Buster Douglas-ed out of the Dubsism College Football Heavyweight title by none other than Tampa’s own University of South Florida. When SportsChump isn’t blogging, gambling, or losing golf balls faster than Judge “I never slice” Smails, he tends bar in Tampa. Well, that particular night, his Ybor City watering hole was brimming with USF slaking their thirst  on bar pours of Florida tears.

SportsChump, my blog brother from another mother is such a frequent collaborator here he has been named the Official Bartender of Dubsism. He is also no exception to that gambler/blogger thing; as such I I was the guest gambler in his contest back in Week 2.

It only seemed natural to use the invitation to his gambling challenge to pay tribute to the mother of all gag-jobs. That was done by limiting my five plays in his challenge to games only involving the Sunshine State.

I went 5-0.

Apparently in the storied annals of the Chump challenge, this is an event as rare as the guy who gets his picture on the wall of the roadside steak house for gutting an entire 200-ounce “Colon Clogger” steak.

But since the Chump is a barkeep, he sent me something far more fitting…a mug fit for washing down 17% of an entire cow.

But that was Week 2. Last week, the J-Dub Gambling Challenge Bankroll got a refill to the tune of $705, adding to the season total which now stands at $5,733 to stay over the original $5K. But now, we’re on to Week 7…

Since it is a Philadelphia Eagles mug, let’s hope the bankroll doesn’t get “Tush-Pushed.”

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Charlotte at Army (-18.5) O/U 46.5 $100 Army
• Alabama (-3.5) at Missouri O/U 51.5 $200 Alabama
• Central Florida at Cincinnati (-10.5) O/U 53 $50 Cincinnati, $50 Under
• Ohio State (-14.5) at Illinois O/U 50.5 $250 Over
• Oklahoma at Texas (-1) O/U 44.5 $100 Oklahoma
• Iowa State (-2.5) at Colorado O/U 52 $100 Iowa State
• Texas Christian (-2) at Kansas State O/U 55.5 $75 Texas Christian, $75 Over
• Indiana at Oregon (-6.5) O/U 53.5 $150 Oregon, $150 Over
• Florida at Texas A&M (-6.5) O/U 47.5 $250 Texas A&M
• Iowa (-3) at Wisconsin O/U 36.5 $100 Iowa
• Georgia at Auburn (-4) O/U 46.5 $150 Georgia, $150 Under
• South Carolina at Louisiana State (-9) O/U 44.5 $200 Louisiana State
• Brigham Young (-2.5) at Arizona O/U 47.5 $500 Brigham Young

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Purdue at Minnesota (-6.5) O/U 49.5 $100 Minnesota

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

Washington State at Mississippi (-32) O/U 58.5 $50 Under

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Miami (FL) Hurricanes.

Miami (FL) is idle this week, but if you’re one of those really sick “Futures” players, as of this post they are +800 to win the National Championship.

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Arkansas at Tennessee (-9) O/U 68.5 $1,000 Tennessee

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