It’s the oldest tradition we have here at Dubsism…every year since this blog was created, we have given awards for achievements during the previous year in under-recognized categories in the world of sports.
The best part of this tradition is all the tremendous nominations we here at the Dubsism Nomination Committee receive from you. Once again, our inbox exploded as over 100,000 of you across the blog-u-verse took the time to offer your nominations. Despite the overwhelming numbers, just like radio relic Casey Kasem said about his “Long Distance Dedications,” we read every goddamn one of them.
Since we aren’t really the type to have a “ponderous” rant about a FUCKING DEAD DOG (#iykyk), we took the time needed to read everything you took the time to send.
Having said that, after having given careful consideration…here are this year’s winners!
Details on last year’s winners can be found here.
The Seventeenth Annual Dubsy Awards
The Mickey Klutts Award for Unfortunate Naming
- Co-Winners: All Wright, Guard, Valparaiso University Basketball and Always Wright, Guard, University of Rhode Island basketball (nominated by newbostonwillie)
- Honorable Mention: Michael Jackson, Wide Receiver, Purdue University Football and Jermaine Jackson, Wide Receiver, British Columbia Lions, Canadian Football League (nominated by You Boiler, You Brought Her)
Where to start with the Wright brothers? Sure, I could go full “hack” and give you a belly full of “high flying” jokes. But that would be akin to diverting to the secondary airport. The primary problem here is the wheel chocks who did the naming. I have no idea who that might be; All Wright and Always Wright sound like they were named by a Native American witnessing an argument between two women.
This applies to our honorable mentions as well. Anybody who named a Jackson child either “Michael” or “Jermaine” should be convicted of child abuse. Imagine that childhood at any point in the last 50 years. Not only do the jokes write themselves, they’ll be coming constantly from every mouth-breather this side of Gary, Indiana.
Previous Winner: Noah Knigga, Quarterback, Eastern Michigan University
The Bobby Knight Award for Achievements in Dramatic Public Meltdowns
- Winner: ESPN NFL Draft Analyst Mel Kiper, Jr., (nominated by The Unknown Blogger)
- Honorable Mention: Mark and Anthony Johnson (nominated by Cowboy Bob in Ortonville)
The real details of this nominati on came up in a piece on this blog a while back. They all melt down to one fact: the cheese came off Mel Kiper’s cracker.
“The NFL can’t figure out quarterbacks” might be the dumbest thing ever said in the history of sports journalism, ESPECIALLY when that lunacy is being used to defend alleged NFL quarterback Shadeur Sanders. Kiper was a guy who (and to be fair, a few other Looney Tuners) thought Shadeur, Son of St. Deion should be the #1 overall draft pick. Sanders is also a guy who ended up getting a mail bag full of nominations for our Over-Rated award.
But Shadeur, Son of St. Deion wasn’t over-rated…at least not by those who didn’t go batshit crazy on live television. Sanders didn’t get taken until the 5th round, which means every team in the quarterback-hungry NFL passed on the “anointed one” multiple times. Even when somebody finally put his name on a draft card, it was the team which defines “can’t figure out quarterbacks.” Even the Cleveland “let’s give a predator $240 million guaranteed” Browns figured out Sanders is nowhere being a “generational talent.” There was a stretch when they wouldn’t even hand Shadeur, Son of St. Deion the keys to the scout team’s offense in practice.
The absolute best part is when watching that video, Kiper becomes so unhinged it feels like he’s channeling former C-SPAN superstar and U.S. Congressman James Trafficant…complete with the weird hair.
We all know parents are a prime source of bad behavior at children’s sporting events, but we would all like to think that gets outgrown before they hit college.
Not for the Battlin’ Johnsons!
After last season’s college football game played in Ireland, Kansas State quarterback Avery Johnson’s father and brother decided Dublin was the place for some shenanigans.
Previous Winner: Ali Heibati, UFC Fighter
The Bevo and Ralphie Award for Mascot Buffoonery
- Winner: Herbie Husker, University of Nebraska (nominated by Corny in Kearny)
- Honorable Mention: Blue, Indianapolis Colts (nominated by Attica Finch)
The video says it all. I’m not really sure what exactly is going on in that inflatable suit; I just know it’s a winner here.
As for the honorable mention, there’s always a place here for a mascot destroying a kid and talking shit about it.
Previous Co-Winners: Marvin Wildhage, German YouTube “Celebrity”
The Budd Dwyer Award for Excellence in Career Suicide
- Winner: Sherrone Moore, former University of Michigan head football coach (nominated by Marty Sparty and over 10,000 other Dubsists)
- Honorable Mention: Bill Belichick, head football coach, University of North Carolina (nominated by SportsChump)
If you’re going to get fired with a flourish at the University of Michigan, the bar was set pretty high after Gary Moeller got the gate for a drunk and disorderly charge during which he allegedly tried to punch a cop. That record stood until Sherrone Moore was arrested for third-degree home invasion, stalking, and breaking and entering.
And that’s not even why he got fired. That happened earlier the same day after it became known to the University that Moore was having “an inappropriate relationship” with a staff member. In short, it appears the “girlfriend” ratted him out to the school, who then fired him, after which he broke into said “girlfriend’s” house.
Even beating Ohio State won’t get you out of that.
Our honorable mention here almost won our Vinko Bogotaj Epic Failure award; it literally took a genocide to top the complete disaster that was North Carolina’s hiring of Bill Belichick. Who saw his going from six Super Bowl wins and people thinking he might be the greatest NFL coach of all time to two conference wins and a weird relationship with a woman 50 years his junior?
Previous Winner: Matt Eberflus, former head coach, Chicago Bears
The Ed Hochuli Award for the Best Call
- Winner: Joe Bullard, Alabama State University football announcer (nominated by Roll Tide Pods)
- Honorable Mention: Pittsburgh Penguins Fan’s Halloween Display (nominated by The Lost Primanti Brother)
This is why we have Robert Kennedy Jr., doing chin-ups in airports and exhorting us all to make America healthy again. He’s not wrong, and neither was Joe Bullard when he referred to Alabama State’s dance team The Honey Beez as the “new face of Ozempic.” Sorry, but the dancers at a football game shouldn’t weigh more than the linemen.
Father Time is fighting a war of attrition with Pittsburgh Penguins fans old enough to remember when Jaromir Jagr was their new rookie star. That was in 1990. Thirty-six years later, Jagr is still playing professional hockey in Czechia for Rytíři Kladno. Just in case you were wondering, that still came up a bit short for our Jamie Moyer Geriatrics Award…
Previous Winner: Antonio Brown, Former NFL Player and Current Lunatic
The Jason Sehorn Award for Being Completely Overrated
- Winner: Ohio State football (nominated by Don’t It Make My Buckeye Michigan Blue )
- Honorable Mention: Mike Tomlin (nominated by Mountain Ear)
I always have to question anytime I and the rest of the Dubsists find themselves in agreement with Paul “Mr. Potato Head” Finebaum. Yeah, I know he’s just a catty old bitch pining for the days when only the SEC was allowed to pay players. But for as much of a B1G Ten hater as he is, he’s right about one thing.
Ohio State football was sooooo overrated in 2025. Granted, they did notch a 12-2 record, and they did go undefeated in the regular season. But that was a lot of getting fat on the Minnesota, Purdue, and Rutgers of the world. The reality is Indiana showed they were a better team in the B1G Ten Championship game, and the Buckeyes were clearly over-matched in the trenches against Miami (FL).
Mentioning Mike Tomlin here will start another debate, but there’s another hard fact in the way. The Pittsburgh Steelers have been dreadful offensively since Ben Roethlisberger retired, and Tomlin did nothing about it.
In fact, he doubled down on defense. I know defense wins championships, but at some point you have to be able to score. Mike Tomlin’s Steelers of thee last few years couldn’t find the end zone if you filled it with flood-lights.
Previous Winner: LeBron “Bronny” James, Jr.
The Clinton–Nixon Award for Cover-Up Futility
- Winner: Chauncey Billups (nominated by SportsChump)
- Honorable Mention: J.C. Tretter, Former president of the National Football League Player’s Association (NFLPA) (nominated by Kojak Off)
Billups is another of this year’s winners that got a lot of nominations for another award; in this case Career Suicide. But he ran away with the title for Cover Up Futility.
This guy really needed a crash-course in covering his tracks, because his journey was one of going from being an NBA Final MVP and a beloved Detroit sports figure to furnishing handy gambling information like which players he’d be playing and for how many minutes who he’d be playing.
This is the second straight year an NBA figure has won this award, and on a gambling-related theme. But what Billups did goes far beyond the escapades of last year’s winner Jontay Porter.
While coaching the Portland Trail Blazers, Billups allegedly conspired in a Mob-backed scheme using his celebrity to attract players to rigged poker games where they would be fleeced using things like rigged card-shuffling machines. If that weren’t enough, Billups is also accused of supplying gamblers with his plans to “tank” a March game by benching players, which allegedly resulted in huge bets being placed on it..
The entire story behind our honorable mention is in the video above, but it’s long, a bit boring, and involves some legal nuances not fully understood nor correctly represented by the producer. Pable Torre has a long history of being intellectually mushy (usually due to his blind ideology) but he’s got this largely correct.
Allow me to surmise 63-minute-long video in a series of bullet points…keeping mind the adversarial nature between the player’s union and the owners in any sport, let alone the largest one in America.
- Torre alleges the National Football League Player’s Association (NFLPA) withheld evidence of collusion among National Football League (NFL) owners from players who were directly impacted by this alleged collusion.
- The Reason: After the Cleveland Browns gave quarterback Deshaun Watson a fully-guaranteed 5-year’s five-year, $230 million contract extension in 2022, the NFLPA prioritized increasing the number of such deals, especially with quarterbacks who earn the largest salaries and have the most leverage of any players in the sport.
- When quarterbacks Lamar Jackson, Russell Wilson, and Kyler Murray could not secure such fully guaranteed deals, the NFLPA filed a grievance per the Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) against NFL owners alleging collusion.
- The Reason: While legally difficult to prove, collusion undermines every pillar upon which the entire collective bargaining process, and there’s no better way to rile up the union’s rank and file than telling them the owners “are getting together to screw them.” More importantly, collusion is generally considered grounds for voiding CBA.
- The grievance not only went to arbitration; it was given expedited discovery.
- The Reason: The arbitrators felt there was a sense of urgency to get the facts out in the open…before anybody gets a chance to know the specifics about which they need to get their “stories straight.”
- Once the grievance was “fast-tracked” by the arbitrator, it was discovered that not only was there a body within the NFL known as the Management Council, it told all 32 NFL owners that fighting against fully-guaranteed contracts was a priority for the league.
- The Reason Why That’s A Problem: Here’s where we’re going to get legal. Even though they are the “white” and the “yolk” of the same egg, there’s an important difference between collusion and conspiracy. Collusion refers to a more subtle, secretive, or “under the table” agreement, which tens make it more civil in natural, therefore giving it a different standard of proof. On the other hand, the term “conspiracy” is usually reserved for formal, criminally-illegal plots.
- Following that closed-door meeting in 2022, there was a discussion between Los Angeles Chargers owner Dean Spanos and Arizona Cardinals owner Michael Bidwell in which Spanos congratulates Bidwill for defeating Kyler Murray’s attempt at getting a full-guaranteed deal. Bidwell is quoted as having said “I think many teams will be happy with it once they have a chance to review. Cleveland really screwed things up, but I was resolved to keep the guaranteed relatively low.”
- The Reason Why That’s A Big Problem: Regardless of whether we’re talking about conspiracy or collusion, there’s no better “smoking gun” than having these key components:
- Agreement: A mutual understanding (explicit or implicit) between two or more people to commit an act
- The very formation of an NFL Management Council required an agreement by the NFL owners
- Intent: The agreed parties must specifically intend to enter the agreement and intend to achieve its objective.
- The agreed-upon NFL Management council declaring an intent to eliminate or impede the proliferation of fully-guaranteed contracts
- Overt Act: At least one of the agreed-upon owners has to commit a definitive action intended toward execution of the plan. This act does not need to be itself inherently illegal; it just has to be integral to achieving the goal of the initial agreement.
- The formation of the Council plays double-duty here, in an of itself it was an overt act. Michael Bidwill clearly intended to keep Kyler Murray on the lowest-possible deal. Not only did he do it, he admitted it…and the conversation with Spanos establishes more than two owners had a prior conversation during which an intent to eliminate or impede the proliferation of fully-guaranteed contracts was agreed upon.
- Objective: The specific outcome intended by the agreed-upon action.
- As has already been clearly demonstrated, this was an intent to eliminate or impede the proliferation of fully-guaranteed contracts
- Agreement: A mutual understanding (explicit or implicit) between two or more people to commit an act
- The Reason Why That’s A Big Problem: Regardless of whether we’re talking about conspiracy or collusion, there’s no better “smoking gun” than having these key components:
Now…go back to that thing about the adversarial nature between the player’s union and the owners. Keeping in mind these are still only allegations, they still beg the following question: If the NFLPA had this kind of a “smoking gun,” why were they hiding it…especially from members of their own union who were directly effected?
Because…at best the NFLPA is is run by incompetents. At worst, it’s run by crooks. I don’t which one is true, but the overwhelming odds woyuld have to be on at least one of them.
Former NFLPA president J.C. Tretter is alleged to have kept this out of public view. The story I keep seeing is because Tretter is said to have called Russell Wilson a “wuss” for not agreeing to a fully-guaranteed contract.
Yeah…I’m not buying that.
I don’t know how these tings are connected, but we’re going find out soon enough. But here’s what we know so far. In 2025, J.C. Tretter served as the NFLPA’s Chief Strategy Officer, a role created for him by NFLPA Executive Director Lloyd Howell once Tretter’s eligibility as president expired. It was during Tretter’s presidency that Howell was ushered into his role in an unexplained turn of events.
Players claim the NFLPA’s process for finding a new Executive Director was not transparent; they weren’t informed about any of the candidates until the day they were supposed to elect one of them. Union player representatives also claim to have been given no notice of a meeting on the matter; per Tretter himself, only 48 of 128 player reps showed up. This part gets a bit murky, because it isn’t quite clear how the mechanics worked via the NFLPA’s rules and regulations, but it seems there’s a way if that meeting didn’t have enough player reps present, Tretter could greatly influence the selection of the Executive Director.
I can’t prove a word of what I’m about to say. This just feels like one of those cases where both sides know they’re dirty, and while there might be the occasional bit of saber-rattling, nobody’s going to go “nuclear” and blow-up the CBA.
Previous Winner: Jontay Porter, Former NBA player
The Charles O. Finley Award for Achievements in Cheap
- Winner: Tennessee Titans (nominated by Nacogdoches Nachos)
- Honorable Mention: Dallas Mavericks (nominated by Silver Screen Pass)
You don’t need to be an expert on how the NFL Salary Cap works (but we’ve got you covered if you want the basics) to understand one thing. If you have a shitty team, and you’re not spending money, you’re doing it wrong. This table from Salary Cap Space shows that. There’s a reason why four of the five teams at the top are terrible.
But what it really means is the Tennessee titans have the inside rail to be the worst of the worst in 2026.
The only thing worse than being deliberately cheap is being rewarded for it. Not only did the Dallas Mavericks make a dumb deal sending Luka Doncic to the Lakers, they ended up getting Cooper Flagg because of it. First of all, the dumb part wasn’t dealing Doncic; everybody knew it was inevitable. It was doing for an aging and injury-prone Anthony Davis (who is already gone), Max Christie, and a draft pick that turned out to be Cooper Flagg. Getting lucky shouldn’t mean you made a good deal.
Previous Winner: The Minnesota Vikings
The Joe Kapp Award for Being Run Out of Town
- Winner: Tom Thibodeau, former head coach, New York Knicks (nominated by SoHoHoHo)
- Honorable Mention: The Minnesota Twins 10 (nominated by Kirby’s Puck)
A major component of “getting fun out of town” is being blamed for things beyond your control. This year’s winner is a perfect example. Despite being the first coach to get to the Knicks to their first conference final since the O.J. Simpson Bronco chase, Tom Thibodeau became the scapegoat for what was described as undisciplined play by his team. Granted, the Knicks committed too many turnovers, but there’s not much a coach can do when the other team shoots the lights out from the 3-point line and you just don’t have the kind of players you need to stop the other guys transition game. Frankly, the Knicks over-achieved to get where they did.
When a team has a “fire sale,” that usually means they trade a few players…not over a third of the roster. When the trade deadline came in 2025, the Minnesota Twins had to rent a bus to haul everybody to the airport whom they shipped out of town. After all, even the biggest van isn’t going to hold Carlos Correa, Jhoan Duran, Chris Paddack, Griffin Jax, Louis Varland, Brock Stewart, Danny Coulombe, Harrison Bader, Willie Castro, and Ty France…and their luggage.
And you can rest assured all of their flights didn’t leave from the same terminal.
Previous Winner: Mike Vrabel, former Head Coach, Tennessee Titans
The Bobby Layne Award for Best Performance While Drunk
- Winner: Quentin Jammer (nominated by Tony the Tiger Woods)
- Honorable Mention: The England national Cricket team (nominated by William Sport)
Quentin Jammer was an NFL cornerback and first-round draft pick in 2002. But he also revealed in 2025 he played “completely shit-faced drunk” in at least eight games during 2011. season with the San Diego Chargers.
He cites reasons for his drinking, but you can consider those on your own. Jammer called this surprise confession “an act of catharsis,” using it to underscore his personal struggles, including a divorce during that season. What matters here is Jammer confessed to drinking tequila or “a good bourbon” before and during games. The best part is in that X thread, Jammer says he performed well in all but one of those games.
There’s nothing surprising about athletes drinking. However, it seems as if the people at the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) don’t understand that.
“England will investigate reports of [England national Cricket] players drinking excessively during a break from the Ashes series in the beach town of Noosa. The England squad spent four nights on the Queensland coast between the second and third Test. Several media outlets, including the BBC, reported that some players were drinking for a significant portion of their time in Noosa, as well as on two previous days in Brisbane, the venue for the second Test.
~The BBC
A video was shared on social media on Tuesday which appeared to show England opener Ben Duckett drunk.”
In other words, we’ve got players on the world stage in one their sport’s biggest events…which they are winning in dominating fashion…and reporters are shocked their might be some alcohol consumption involved. Not to mention, not only do athletes drink, the English dominated the world with a navy built from emptied rum casks, and these athletes are on tour in a country founded by a need to stash English convicts.
The fact the BBC can’t grasp this is representative of why that aforementioned empire is now little more than a commonwealth of independent (and largely irrelevant countries), Gibraltar, and some semi-frozen rocks near the Antarctic Circle.
Previous Winner: Justine Huang, marathon runner
The Artis Gilmore Award for Achievements in Hair Boldness
- Winner: Anthony Carty, Pittsburgh Pirates fan (nominated by Panicked State College)
- Honorable Mention: Ritchie McKay, head basketball coach, Liberty University (nominated by The Kid In The Hall )
The main reason Carty won isn’t just the amazing beard work…it’s that nobody noticed his handle-bar mustache because of the sheer awesomeness of that beard.
Conversely, while we know exactly what Carty was doing, we have no idea where Ritchie McKay was going with this look. Is he getting ready to introduce his own line of combo of men’s “Graying/Balding” product?
Previous Winner: Kirby Connell, University of Tennessee
The Kyle Orton Award for Achievements in Partying
- Winner: Baker Mayfield, Quarterback, Tampa Bay Buccaneers (nominated by Pebble Beach Boy)
- Honorable Mention: Arizona Cardinals fans (nominated by Looking For That Big Penix)
One of Mr. Mayfield’s nominators sent us this quote from MSN, and it’s the perfect words to accompany this video.
“This week, Lake Tahoe played host to the largest celebrity golf tournament of the year, the American Century Championship. Stars from all walks of life, and in particular athletes from sports outside of golf, take part each year…
~MSN
…The Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB didn’t just swing clubs, but hilariously cemented his legend status shotgunning a beer in full swagger. Mayfield, paired with Jason and Travis Kelce at the American Century, was part of the most chaotic trio on the course. The Kelce brothers had a side bet that every three-putt meant shotgunning a beer. Mayfield joined in with team, spitting up foam mid-shotgun and laughing it off.
The quarterback then took it up a notch, challenging fans to a shotgun duel near the 17th tee. Mayfield won, of course, earning the unofficial title of ML (Most Legendary) in any QB beer contest.”
In a call-back to the Kyle Orton award, nobody should be shocked by the idea Arizona Cardinals fans are the NFL’s heaviest drinkers. In short, this study showed (among other things):
- Arizona Cardinals fans rank first in heavy drinking among NFL fan bases.
- Nearly one-fifth of Cardinals fans consume at least five alcoholic beverages on game days.
- The team’s numerous player injuries and poor record are cited as potential factors for the high drinking rates.
What it doesn’t mention is the significant number of Arizona football fans who are transplants from other cities; a great recipe for a football-based alcohol “melting pot.”
It also probably means they are lying…like every other fanbase. The difference is the Cardinal fans may be exaggerating; we know the others are minimizing. I know a lot of Packer fans and I know a lot of Wisconsinites who measure the driving distance between cities in “beers,” not “hours.”
Don’t even try tell me they drink less than non-existent Charger fans.
The Vasily Alexseyev Award for Plus-Sized Achievement
- Winner: Audi Crooks, Center, Iowa State University Basketball. (nominated by The Duke of Dubuque)
- Honorable Mention: Harrison “The Thiccer Kicker” Mevis, Place Kicker, Los Angeles Rams (nominated by The Cornbread Mafia)
With March Madness right around the corner, the boys over at Barstool Sports have it nailed…Audi Crooks is “Must-See Television.” The only thing she doesn’t do is the flying “Jordan” thunder-dunk…but how fucking awesome would that be?
The Los Angeles Rams made a run in the NFL playoffs, but only after they addressed their kicker situation. Once they added Harrison “The Thiccer Kicker” Mevis from the United Football League, all he did was go 19-for-20 on field goals, including a perfect 6-for-6 during that playoff run.
I wonder if he can play basketball?
The Jamie Moyer Award for Excellence in Geriatrics
- Winner: Phillip Rivers, Quarterback, Indianapolis Colts (nominated by I’m Afraid To Tell You I’m A Colts Fan)
- Honorable Mention: Kazuyoshi Miura, Fukushima FC (nominated by Kobe’s Beef)
I live in Indiana, and I saw every minute of the Philip Rivers saga in Indianapolis. The real reason America loved this 44-year old guy literally going from high-school football coach to un-retired NFL quarterback is because a great number of football fans tuned in and their dad playing in the NFL…including Rivers’ own 73 children.
While Japan and Indiana have little in common, Japanese soccer fans can still watch their grandfather playing. Known as “King Kazu” is in his 41st season as a pro footballer, Kazuyoshi Miura became the oldest player to score in a professional match at the age of 58…and as of this writing, he’s still tearing up the pitch for Fukushima FC in the Japanese third division.
Previous Winner: Kelly Slater, Professional Surfer
The Vinko Bogotaj Award For Epic Failure
- Winner: The Los Angeles Kings (nominated by Land O’ 10,000 Lakers)
- Honorable Mention: Younghoe Koo, Place Kicker, New York Giants (nominated by B1G Ten Inches)
Here’s a tip for all you “virtue signalers” out there. You need to do at least basic research on any cause you choose to support. If you don’t, you end up looking like an idiot.
The Los Angeles area is home to the largest ex-patriate Armenian community in the world. outside of Armenia. Being in California where virtue signaling is a state law, the Los Angeles Kings held an Armenian Heritage Night. The problem is during this event, they were selling scarves which were made in Turkey. During World War I, an estimated 1.5 million Armenians were killed in various atrocities carried out by the Ottoman Empire; the immediate antecedent to modern-day Turks. Needless to say, the Armenians aren’t particularly fond of the Turks.
Granted, it’s not as obvious as serving knockwurst at a B’nai Brith fundraiser, but this is exactly the kind of shit your fellow virtue-signalers look for. That’s why you should know where your merch gets made.
Koo’s debacle is firmly in the “you had one job” department. It’s one thing to miss. It’s another to have a kick blocked. But when you can’t even get the ball off the ground…that just the equivalent of your flight getting cancelled because somebody clogged a toilet.
Previous Winner: The Miami Dolphins
The Joe Theismann Award For Gruesome Injuries
- Winner: Jake Paul, YouTuber-turned-Boxer (nominated by Nominated by Mrs. J-Dub)
- Honorable Mention: Jean-Philippe Mateta, Striker, Crystal Palace (nominated by South Carolina Cock Soccer Supporter)
Paul is the classic “FAFO” guy. Here’s a guy who wasn’t a professional boxer, fucked around with one, and found out why that’s a bad idea.
Boxing is an obviously rough sport. Many don’t appreciate how dangerous soccer can be. Jean-Philippe Mateta nearly got himself killed by a flying kick in the head from Millwall goalkeeper Liam Roberts during an FA Cup match. It required 25 stitches and a lengthy hospital stay, but somehow he avoided what could have been far worse.
Previous Winner: Matthew Dawson, Australian field hockey player
The Dick Vermeil Award For Great Moments in Crying
- Winner: Rory McIlroy, PGA Golfer (nominated by Ben Hogan’s Heroes)
- Honorable Mention: Roki Sasaki, Pitcher Los Angeles Dodgers (nominated by Paul McCartney and Buffalo Wild Wings)
It’s really no surprise McIlroy is a winner here; he’s always been blogger gold. He could have won for Meltdowns way back in the day for his epic collapse at Augusta in 2011. A few years later, he was in the running for Best Call when he egged on the American crowd at a Ryder Cup with the Hulk Hogan “I Can’t Hear You” routine. But given his struggles at the Masters coupled with this win making him only the sixth golfer to win the Career Grand Slam, the show of emotion was not only deserved…it was Rory.
Sasaki’s moment looked more fitting for Williamsport in August than Dodger Stadium in March, but the tears were just as real. It’s just seeing waterworks from a pitcher getting pulled because he couldn’t hit the ocean if he fell off Santa Monica pier felt more Little League than Los Angeles.
Previous Winner: Robert and Doug MacIntyre
The Gene Mauch Lifetime Achievement Award
Winner: Fran Tarkenton (nominated by New York Dave)
This nominaton came from a known long-time Dubsist and Jets fan. After reading a piece by Dubsism contributor and fellow Jets fan and resident of the Empire State put him in mind of a guy who didn’t play for foe Jets but is still well known ot Gothan football fans of sufficient vintage. Besides, he may very be the poster child for this award; he’s the veritable definition of having a long and storied career despite having never won a championship.
Francis Asbury “Fran” Tarkenton was best known for his time being the greatest quarterback in this history of the Minnesota Vikings…despite the fact like every other great Viking quarterback, he didn’t play his entire career there. His five-year stint as a New York Giant is the key to his legibility for this award. If only he had been a Minnesota Viking in 1969, he would have been a member of the last team to be crowned NFL Champions without winning the Super Bowl.
Then again, Tarkenton led the New York Giants to a 24-23 win over the Minnesota Vikings in that 1969 championship season. So, who knows a what a Tarkenton-led Viking squad might have done against Kansas City in Super Bowl IV? But once he was traded back to the Vikings in 1972, he spent his last seven seasons leading Minnesota to Super Bowls in 1974, 1975, and 1977.
The fact he’s winning this award tells you how those ended.
But championships don’t define greatness, which is why this award exists to be one by guys like “The Scrambler.” Tarkenton first earned that nickname during his days at the University of Georgia, where he became regarded as football’s first “dual-threat” quarterback. After being selected in third round of the 1961 NFL draft by the expansion Minnesota Vikings, he quickly became a stand-out on a team which eventually became NFL Champs. But his inability to get along with head coach Norm Van Brocklin led to the aforementioned trade to the Giants.
In 18 seasons between New York and Minnesota, Tarkenton became one of the NFL’s all-time greats. His list of career accomplishments bears that out…
- 9 Pro Bowl Selections (1964, 1965, 1967–1970, 1974–1976)
- Pro Bowl Most Valuable Player (1964)
- Second-team All-Pro (1973)
- First-team All-Pro (1975)
- NFL Most Valuable Player (1975)
- Bert Bell Award (Player of the Year)
- NFL Offensive Player of the Year
- NFL passing touchdowns leader
- NFL completion percentage leader
- NFL passing yards leader (1978)
- Retired as Career Leader in:
- Completions
- Passing Touchdowns
- Passing Yards
- Pro Football Hall of Fame (1986)
- Minnesota Vikings Ring of Honor (1998)
After football, Tarkenton became a television figure, serving as a commentator on ABC’s Monday Night Football and later as a host of that network’s That’s Incredible! If that weren’t enough he founded Tarkenton Software, a company which became an early leader in CASE (computer-aided software engineering), and is now the CEO of pipIQ™, a private intelligence platform intended to help it’s clients use artificial intelligence. That’s why while his football days are nearly a half-century past, Tarkenton still shows on on business shows to this day.
In other words, “The Scrambler” clearly won at life, but without that Lombardi Trophy, Fran Tarketon gets to settle for a Dubsy.
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Dubsism 
Man, not sure how I missed that Kiper meltdown. Maybe it’s because I didn’t watch ESPN’s 72 hour coverage of the event.
Either way, it’s nice and even comforting to see the old man meltdown. Lets us know he’s still breathing.
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