One of the purely beautiful things about live sporting events is the things that cameras capture. For example, it seems that Red Sox fans have finally found a way to unearth a more productive left-handed bat than David Ortiz. Sure, he’s green, slightly crusty, and sticks to the end of your finger, but…wait, never mind.… Read More Green Things Invade the AL East
It’s one of those classic “What could possibly go wrong?” moments. There’s no way that Opening Day at Dodger Stadium, a Pavillion full of the usual “let’s duke it out during God Bless America” rabble-rousers, an assload of liquor, and $8 per hour security personnel could lead to any trouble, right? You would be exactly… Read More Well, At Least the Dodgers Security Can Hit
If you haven’t guessed by now, this blog is less about which teams I love; it’s more about why your team sucks. Granted, I’m certainly not alone when it comes to a hatred of the New York Yankees. But I had a special sort of bile-spewing, eyeball-popping rage for Hideki Matsui. If I ever needed… Read More Getting Over the Hate
Until this point, Tom Emanski was the standard reference for those cheesebag youth-baseball instructional videos. You know, the sort usually purchased by those parents who have already emotionally scarred their little-leaguers for life, and are well on their way to complete douchebaggery. May I introduce Dr. Tom House, co-founder of the The National Pitching Association,… Read More The National Pitching Association
Wow, you learn something new every day. Take the effects of anabolic steroids for example. Granted, I knew they made you into the Incredible Hulk, as well as giving you pimples, making your head triple in size, and shrinking your manbits into raisins, but I had no clue they completely divorced you from reality. That… Read More I Didn’t Realize Steroids Caused Delusional Behavior
Today makes it official. As a fan of the Minnesota Twins, today marks the day that we never, repeat, never again have to suffer major league baseball in the atrocity known as the Metrodome. Today marks the Twins’ home opener against the Boston Red Sox, making what was once a dream of outdoor baseball in… Read More Welcome To Target Field… Goodbye HumptyDome
For those of you that didn’t know, I hate the Los Angeles Dodgers. The single moment in my life that produced nausea so violent (ugghhh…fighting urge now) that it would have given Mr. Creosote a bariatric case of vomit-envy is the (urrghhhh…) is the Kirk Gibson homer in the 1988 World Series. You remember…Game One,… Read More Teams That Grind My Gears: The Los Angeles Dodgers, part III
All spring long we have regaled with tales of a phenom in Atlanta, a six-and-one-half foot tall Adonis whose garment you are not worthy to touch. It took no time at all for word to spread; there was a veritable pilgrimage all the way from Braves’ camp in Florida just to see the mighty Jason… Read More Let Heyward-Mania Officially Begin
“There is no sports event like Opening Day of baseball, the sense of beating back the forces of darkness and the National Football League.” —George Vecsey Is there a better way to describe Opening Day? Today is one the two high holy days in the Dubsism world (the other being the first weekend of college football). The… Read More Opening Day Is Finally Here
You likely know what a “captcha” is even if you don’t know the term. In short, a “captcha” is a word or phrase a user has to type into a field on a website to prove you aren’t some sort of automated spammer or worse. A common place to see these is on ticket-selling sites.… Read More The Washington Nationals and Violent Intestinal Distress
There’s nothing like the joys of being able to spend an entire afternoon watching all umpteen innings of a Dodgers-Rockies spring training affair. If for no other reason, I got to see this will be another year of great Dodger baseball. One great Dodger tradition that continues is only ever have three guys who can hit. Better yet, for… Read More Teams That Grind My Gears: The Los Angeles Dodgers, part II
We all know contract negotiations can be a dirty business. In order for both parties to achieve satisfaction there is so much back and forth and in and out mixed with the general writhing sometimes just to close the deal, they lose sight of the value of the deal in the first place. Time for some brutal… Read More Pick the Washington Nationals’ First “Wang” Joke
You could fill volumes with what money can’t buy. How many of us played ball as kids in the backyard pretending to be the star player for the hometown team? No amount of money will bring back that moment, but Joe Mauer gets paid to live it. Even all the money Mauer just banked from… Read More Its Joe Mauer’s World…You Are Just Living In It
Out of the clear blue sky, the Washington Nationals unconditionally released Elijah Dukes today. Dukes was slated to be the teams starting right fielder, but now he is no longer welcome in D.C. There is also that “special” kind of silence surrounding the whole thing which makes on think perhaps Dukes finally pissed off the… Read More Is Elijah Dukes the Next Milton Bradley?
Rankings By Division: American League: AL East: 1) New York Yankees Upside: The Bombers easily could have turned on the money-hose and flooded out free-agents like Jason Bay or Matt Holliday, or they could have wasted some serious dough by resigning an over-valued Johnny Damon. But, instead of having their usual explosive cash-gasm, they realized their in-house options are… Read More The 2010 Dubsism Major League Baseball Pre-Season Rankings
For all of you who, like myself, despise the New York Yankees, feast your long-suffering eyes on this: That’s right…that’s the grandstand of the old Yankee Stadium being turned into so much rubble. The stadium where the hopes and dreams of so many non-Yankee teams have died a slow, painful death can now watch the… Read More Porn Only Wishes It Could Excite You As Much As This Does
Sadly, the run that Joe Nathan has enjoyed as an All-Star closer for the Minnesota Twins may be over. After leaving Saturday’s game against the Boston Red Sox with stiffness in his pitching elbow, Nathan has been diagnosed with a torn ulnar collateral ligament. Normally, such an injury requires reconstructive surgery, but there are a… Read More Vaya Con Dios, Joe Nathan
We live in America; a country where nearly 4 out of 10 high-school graduates could tell you anything lucid about The Civil War, and even less can find any given state on a map. Worse yet, some of them can’t even find the map. Given such a dismal state of geographic knowledge, it’s time for… Read More The Battle of the Dakotas
Have you ever had one of those moments where you can’t believe what you are reading, yet you aren’t surprised this is the level to which we have sunk as a society? Well, look no farther than Palm Desert, California for today’s example. “Palm Desert High School is without a girls varsity softball coach after… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Softball
What makes a great rivalry? If you were to leave that question to the dopes at ESPN, all you will hear is a bunch of slop about the Red Sox and the Yankees, Michigan and Ohio State, or from the real “traditionalists,” you might get some waxing nostalgic about Army and Navy. In other words,… Read More Los Angeles vs. San Francisco: A Study In Rivalry
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