For the fifth January in a row, we here at Dubsism will be handing out our coveted awards for various achievements in the world of sport.  And once again, we are opening the floor for nominations from you, the blog-reading public who clearly has nothing better to do than read this dreck.

If you have time to read this, you likely have read a lot of other sports stuff, and therefore likely have a better idea of to whom to give these awards than do our drunken bunch of keyboard droolers. You can always check out our previous awards should you have any questions as the reasons for which the awards are given. You can also Google the people for whom the awards are named; both are telling, but most are pretty self-explanatory.

Having said that, here is the Dubsy award nomination ballot. Simply fill in your nominees (be sure to include pertinent facts; links to supporting evidence are always welcome, and depending on the reason for nomination, it may be required by the Dubsism legal department), then copy and paste your ballot into an email addressed to dubsism@yahoo.com.

There are very few criteria for submitting a ballot:

1. One nominee per category per email.
2. Nominees must come from the world of sport, and they must fit the category in which they are nominated.
3. You do no need to nominate a winner in each category
4. Nominees should have a national presence – as much as your local high school coach might be a perfect nominee, if the rest of us never heard of him, it doesn’t do any good. However, we are willing to make exceptions for awesome stories which have links to back them up.

We also will be giving honorable mentions to the best nominees which are pretty damn good, but didn’t win. For those, we will post your name and a link to your blog/webpage if you wish. If you don’t wish, then don’t give it to us…

For more information on last year’s winners, click here.

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The 2013 Dubsy Award Nominee Ballot

Your Name:

Your Blog/Website/Facebook Page so people can worship your brilliant nomination:

The Mickey Klutts Award for Unfortunate Naming

Previous Winner:  Dong Dong, Chinese Olympic Trampolinist

Your Nominee:

The Bobby Knight Award for Achievements in Dramatic Public Meltdowns

Previous Winner: Morgan Uceny, USA Track and Field

Your Nominee:

The Bevo and Ralphie Award for Mascot Buffoonery

Previous Winner: Bailey, The Los Angeles Kings’ Mascot

Your Nominee:

The Budd Dwyer Award for Excellence in Career Suicide

Previous Winner:  Former St. Louis Rams’ Defensive coordinator. Gregg Williams

Your Nominee:

The Ed Hochuli Award for the Best Call

Previous Winner:  Dan McCarney, head football coach, University of North Texas

Your Nominee:

The Jason Sehorn Award for Being Completely Overrated

Previous Winner: Manti T’eo, Notre Dame Linebacker

Your Nominee:

The Clinton-Nixon Award for Cover-Up Futility

Previous Winner:  Former Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton

Your Nominee:

The Charles O. Finley Award for Achievements in Cheap

Previous Winner: Matt Shaner, Owner, Pittsburgh Power

Your Nominee:

The Joe Kapp Award for Being Run Out of Town

Previous Winner: Danny Hope, Former Head Football Coach, Purdue University

Your Nominee:

The Bobby Layne Award for Best Performance While Drunk

Previous Winner: British Olympic Cyclist Bradley Wiggins

Your Nominee:

The Artis Gilmore Award for Achievements in Hair Boldness

Previous Winner:  Former New England Patriots Defensive Back Tiquan Underwood

Your Nominee:

The Kyle Orton Award for Achievements in Partying

Previous Winner: James Harden of the Houston Rockets

Your Nominee:

The Vasily Alexseyev Award For Plus-Sized Achievements

Previous Winner: ESPN Sideline Reporter Holly Rowe

Your Nominee:

The Vinko Bogotaj Award For Epic Failure

Previous Winner: Los Angeles Kings Forward Dustin Penner

Your Nominee:

The Joe Theismann Award For Gruesome Injuries

Previous Winner: Former Tennessee Titans wide receiver Marc Mariani

Your Nominee:

The Gene Mauch Lifetime Achievement Award

This award is given annually to somebody who has been around forever, but never won anything.

Previous Winner: Rick Majerus

Your Nominee:

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Nominations will be accepted until 3 p.m. Eastern (U.S.) time on Monday, December 30th, 2013.

Let your voice be heard, Dubsists. There’s over  a million of you out there, so let’s really make these awards mean something…we simply cannot let the ESPYs stand as the standard in sports awards. Who gives a shit about what “30 by 30″ movie was the best? Let’s make sure we are giving award for things we care about.

After all, aren’t we as the fans what make sports matter in the first place?