The J-Dub Gambling Challenge is Back!
With the arrival of Labor Day Weekend, on the Dubsism calendar we also move from the month of Ascension to the Twelve Greatest Saturdays of the Year. That also means a return visit to the J-Dub Gambling Challenge. Last year, I did this with Ryan Meehan from First Order Historians. This year is I am going back to my roots; I am going back to gambling on college football. There’s a host of reasons for that, but the biggest one is frankly…the NFL is boring.
For those of you new to the J-Dub Gambling Challenge, this is all about a return to my days as a bookie. I start the season with $5,000 and I wager on college football games. I bet both sides and totals, and I don’t do that stupid “money line” horseshit. Just like you, I have to factor the “juice” into all profits/losses, and you get to painlessly following the hemorrhaging as we travel through the season.
Another change this year is I’m going to start with some working hypotheses…let’s see how long it takes for them to be busted.
- The entire ACC is over-rated (including part-time member Notre Dame) until further notice.
- The best team in the SEC is the best team in the country until further notice.
- The B1G Ten is the next best conference in the country behind the SEC, but no one will get that until January.
- By the time we are talking about Play-off rankings, there will be a Heisman candidate nobody is talking about right now. This isn’t so much a betting issue as it is a fan/watching issue, but I’m still putting it out there.
Now, let’s get ready to gamble…
DISCLAIMER: Because gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir… and when it comes to gambling, I slice like Jack the Ripper working the deli coumter on crystal meth. That’s why this in no way, shape or form is a gambling advice column, and all “bets” are mythical in nature. In other words, don’t come crying to me when you lose your house payment betting real money like I’m “betting” Monopoly money.
- Indiana at Florida International (-9.5), O/U 61 – $50 Indiana
- South Carolina at Vanderbilt (-4.5), O/U 42.5 – $25 South Carolina
- Oregon State at Minnesota (-13), O/U 55.5 – $50 Minnesota, $50 Over
- Colorado State at Colorado (-8), O/U 57 – $100 Colorado State
- Oklahoma at Houston (+11.5), O/U 68 – $75 Houston
- LSU at Wisconsin (+10), O/U 44.5 (@Lambeau Field) $250 LSU J-Dub’s “Lock of the Week” LSU head coach Les Miles has already put out the word that any Tigers who try the Lambeau Leap will “have their thumbs out looking for a ride home.” With the departure of Mark Richt to Miami, Miles is the last coach standing in the conference from my SEC-based parody of “Apocalypse Now.“
- Georgia at North Carolina (-2.5), O/U 57.5 – J-Dub’s Dog of the Week – There’s just no upside to betting this game as you need to pit one of my working hypotheses (see above) against the other. Georgia has a new coach and who the fuck knows what North Carolina is?
- USC at Alabama (-11.5), O/U 53.5 (@ AT&T Stadium a.k.a “Jerry World,” Dallas) – $150 Alabama
- BYU at Arizona (-1.5), O/U 60 – $50 BYU
- Notre Dame at Texas (+3.5), O/U 60 – J-Dub’s Trap of the Week – Betting this game means you: a) don’t think Notre Dame is over-rated, b) Texas is a as bad as everybody thinks or c) you have a compulsive need to be selling your plasma on Monday morning.
- Mississippi at Florida State (-4), O/U 57 – $25 Mississippi
Will it be steak and eggs for breakfast on Sunday morning, or will it be yet another desperate trip to the plasma center on Monday? In the immortal words of 80’s super-group Asia, only time will tell. (Vegas has “plasma” at 7/2).