It is the second week of November, which means we’re about to find out if the gales are going to come early. You see, this week marks the 41st anniversary of the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald on Lake Superior, and 40 years since Gordon Lightfoot released what may be the most depressing song recorded. But it was only 39 years ago when “The Love Boat” debuted on ABC. I don’t know exactly how those facts collided in my brain, but I’m willing to bet my new oxycodone prescription may be involved.
The reason for that is rather simple. On November 10th, 1975, the Edmund Fitzgerald started the day above water. That same week in 2016 saw the J-Dub Gambling Challenge break above the original $5,000 for the first time all season. But at only $5,056 total, that means the waves are still breaking over the side of the good ship J-Dub. That also means anything is possible this week; This could go well and turn into the episode of the Love Boat where Norman “Mr. Roper” Fell shows up as cruise director Julie’s father and tells her he’s leaving her mother, and while she’s distraught at first, Isaac the Bartender whips up a ship-load of “roofies,” and everybody gets theirs in a giant Wesson-oil orgy with Florence Henderson and Charlotte “Mrs. Garrett” Rae. Or maybe I’m getting that confused with the episode where the dad from the Brady Bunch fucks “Hot Lips” from MASH. Either way, that oxy is some mean shit.
The point is either everybody’s going to be happy at the end, or this is going all “Eddie Fitz,” the main hatchway gives in and the cook says “Fellows, it’s been good to know you.” Tune in next to find out what happens, and to see if the Love Boat gets torpedoed by a German U-Boat.
Wait, that didn’t happen either, did it? Damn oxy.
DISCLAIMER: Because gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir… and when it comes to gambling, I slice like Jack the Ripper working the deli counter on crystal meth. That’s why this in no way, shape or form is a gambling advice column, and all “bets” are mythical in nature. In other words, don’t come crying to me when you lose your house payment betting real money like I’m “betting” Monopoly money.
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