No, I didn’t just hop into Back to the Future DeLorean and set the controls for the mid 1980s. In fact, the only real connection here to the 80s is in where the bankroll ended after last week’s action.

Instead, this is all about the “push.” If you recall, in my primer on gambling, a “push” occurs when the outcome of a sporting event exactly matches the point spread and/or the over/under. It’s basically a “tie;” all bets are returned. But even though you get your “nut” back, you still have to pay the “juice.”

For those of you who don’t know, “straight” bets like the ones you see here in the J-Dub Gambling Challenge operate on a simple 11/10 basis. In short, to place a $10 bet, you have to pay “juice,” which is customarily 10% of the amount wagered. In other words, to place a $10 bet you would pay the “bookie” $11. Realistically, its simply the price of placing a bet.

In other words, if the old axiom says “a tie is like kissing your sister,” then a “push” is like having to pay her do it. Either way, they both effect what’s in your wallet, and since I pushed on three plays last week (Kentucky -6 at South Carolina, Nebraska at Michigan State -3, and California at Washington -7), J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll took home a profit of $180. I know…that’s still better than losing, but it’s not a great return on an investment of $1,320 in total plays. Not to mention, the season total now stands at $6,130, up from the original $5K.

And thankfully, I don’t have a sister.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Virginia at Miami (FL) (-5) O/U 62 $100 Miami (FL)
• Iowa (-3.5) at Maryland O/U 46.5 $25 Iowa, $25 Over
• Syracuse at Florida State (-6) O/U 51.5 $75 Syracuse
• Pittsburgh (-3) at Georgia Tech O/U 55.5 $50 Pittsburgh
• Army (-7.5) at Ball State O/U 44.5 $200 Army
• Indiana at Penn State (-9) O/U 53.5 $100 Penn State
• Cincinnati at Notre Dame (-2) O/U 49.5 $100 Cincinnati, $100 Under
• Washington at Oregon State (-2.5) O/U 55.5 $150 Washington
• Oregon (-7.5) at Stanford O/U 57.5 $200 Oregon
• Arkansas at Georgia (-19.5) O/U 50.5 $100 Arkansas, $100 Under
• Texas at Texas Christian (-2) O/U 65.5 $150 Texas
• Tennessee at Missouri (-3) O/U 65.5 $50 Tennessee, $50 Under
• Florida (-8) at Kentucky O/U 55 $100 Florida
• Oklahoma (-12) at Kansas State O/U 52.5 $100 Oklahoma, $100 Over
• Michigan at Wisconsin (-4) O/U 43.5 $50 Michigan
• Mississippi State at Texas A&M (-7.5) O/U 44.5 $150 Texas A&M

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Minnesota at Purdue (-3) O/U 47.5 $100 Minnesota

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Alabama Crimson Tide.

Mississippi at Alabama (-14.5) O/U 81.5 $150 Alabama

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Brigham Young (-8.5) at Utah State O/U 50.5 $500 Brigham Young

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