What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
Take a good look at that quote. None of you did it. That’s right…I won my own Bracket Challenge. And I don’t feel good about it. Winning when one of the team I’m on record as hating the most cut down the nets is less than fulfilling.
More importantly, this presents a problem in terms of what to do with the prize package. It seems a bit silly to give it to myself.
The second-place finisher Surprise the Cat is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Dubsism, and therefore ineligible to receive any prizes.
We also happen to know that our bronze-medal contestant SportsChump has the bronzed skin associated with the liver condition that’s par for the course for a
drooling booze-bag popular bartender. If we send him the package, he’ll just drink the bubbles again.
This presented quite a quandary here at Dubsism. The whole point of this exercise was to give this
box of crap lovely prize package to somebody. After all, nobody really wants to relive the year we didn’t have a tournament when for a year our prizes simply cluttered the halls here at Dubsism World Headquarters.
Fret not, sports fans; we came up with a
way to get this crap out of my house wholly august and festive solution. The Dubsism prize committee decided this year, we are treating this Bracket Challenge like a “Hi-Lo” poker tournament. What better way could there be to celebrate one of the wackiest tournaments we’ve ever seen than to reward some of the strangest more interesting choices put on our paper in over a quarter-century of hosting such a challenge?
That’s why this year, the prize package (without the certificate, because we’re just not willing to go full “participation trophy” yet) is going to the lowest-scoring bracket in this challenge. So, to regular participant “Dawn,” here’s hoping you enjoy your prize package of crap (valued as high as $23 US dollars),
Just don’t drink the bubbles.
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Of all the years I DON’T pick Kansas to win, they finally do.
Oh, and I’ll have the liver with onions.
Many people don’t know “Kansas” in an old Cherokee word meaning “Bracket Destroyer.”