Gambling is all about numbers. A few weeks back, the weekly theme for the J-Dub Gambling challenge was all about the number “63.” Being about the art of the wager, this week is also about numbers, but in a slightly different way.
Did you know that in the commonwealth of Virginia, a violation of Section 173 of the criminal code involves possession of forged bank notes or coins. In other words, it’s all about having “fake” money. Oddly enough, that’s how it feels to make a profit for the week when I lost the “Payday of the Week.” Thanks, Purdue.
What’s even stranger is not only do I feel like I have a pocket full of bogus bills, but last week collected exactly 173Wqshingtons. While gambling may not be a crime anymore (depending on where you live), it still doesn’t seem right to make bank while dropping the “big” bet. Either way, don’t worry…the only way I’m giving back any bit of the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll (which now stands at $5,963 on the season, up from the original $5K) is the old-fashioned way.
After all, it’s not like I don’t know about losing.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.
That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Florida Atlantic at Purdue (-20) O/U 61.5 $50 Under
Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.
Vanderbilt at Alabama (-40) O/U 58 $100 Over
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Oregon Ducks
Oregon (-7) at Washington State O/U 57 $75 Oregon
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Notre Dame at North Carolina (1.5) O/U 55.5 $250 Notre Dame, $250 Over
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The ending of the Purdue-Syracuse game was beyond bizarre. It is a poster child for why I stopped betting on college football and now experience the thrill (or not) vicariously through you.
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