The J-Dub Gambling Challenge 2022: The “Mayhem” Edition

For even longer than there’s been commercials for car insurance, there’s been gambling. Trust me, I’m old enough to know…and to have dropped a lot of cash on both. That means I also know they can share a common theme…mayhem.

As we speak, there’s a series of just such commercials which not so coincidentally run during college football games. Unlike their subject, that’s not an accident. They know college football fans…especially we devotees of the wagering arts…have an understanding of mayhem so inate to our beings it is the veritable marrow of our bones.

If that weren’t enough, we gamblers get regular “COVID-level useless” boosters on mayhem. Any gambler knows all too well the painful jab of a series of losses; a needle which while draining the bank account doesn’t offer the immunity of a lesson learned. If that weren’t true, Las Vegas wouldn’t exist.

Last week brought this gambler’s first “mayhem” booster of the season. Despite the fact the I dropped $375, I clearly still haven’t learned the needed lesson. Feel free to attribute that…this week’s mayhem still in play…the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll is still showing a profit on the season so far. From the original $5K, the season total stands at $5,980.

You can buy a lot of mayhem insurance with that.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Texas (-7) at Oklahoma O/U 65 $250 Texas
• Texas Christian (-7) at Kansas O/U 68.5 $75 Kansas, $75 Under
• Arkansas at Mississippi State (-9.5) O/U 59 $50 Arkansas
• Tennessee (-3) at Louisiana State O/U 65 $150 Tennessee
• Missouri at Florida (-18.5) O/U 55 $50 Florida
• Texas Tech at Oklahoma State (-9) O/U 68.5 $100 Over
• North Carolina at Miami (FL) (-3.5) O/U 68 $100 Under
• Ohio State (-27) at Michigan State O/U 67.5 $25 Michigan State, $25 Under
• Mississippi (-17) at Vanderbilt O/U 62 $75 Mississippi
• Air Force (-10) at Utah State O/U 55 $125 Air Force
• Washington State at Southern California (-15) O/U 65.5 $50 Washington State
• Kentucky (-10) at South Carolina O/U 49 $100 Kentucky
• Kansas State (-2) at Iowa State O/U 45 $25 Kansas State, $25 Under
• Clemson (-20.5) at Boston College O/U 48.5 $75 Clemson
• Iowa at Illinois (-3.5) O/U 36 $100 Illinois
• Florida State at North Carolina State (-3) O/U 51 $75 North Carolina State

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Purdue at Maryland (-4) O/U 59 $50 Purdue

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Oregon Ducks

Oregon (-13.5) at Arizona O/U 70 $100 Oregon

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Brigham Young at Notre Dame (-4) O/U 51.5 $500 Brigham Young

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