I’m going to be blunt here. The picture to the left should tell where my college football allegiances lie. Before the Nittany Lions joined the B1G Ten 30 years ago, I never really cared much about Buckeyes. But since then, I hate Ohio State more than root canals and tax audits combined.

The reason is just as easy to understand. Ohio State has been the source of more problems for Penn State than Jerry Sandusky’s basement. The difference is the Ohio State Buckeyes are not going to die in prison (Art Schlichter not included in that comment. There’s a reason why he’s the quarterback on my all-time “locked up” team).

The sad but simple reality is that it seems like every year…especially in the James Franklin era…Penn State cruises through the season until the middle of October. The fans get their hopes up, the media fans the flames, and then comes the seal-clubbing courtesy of the boys from Columbus. Then the Nittany Lions play more like the Minty Kitties the rest of the way, and limp-dick their way into some bullshit bowl game…which they lose about half the time.

In all fairness, maybe this is all about misplaced blame. Maybe this is all about James Franklin being a big-game choke artist. Maybe this is all about Penn State being perennial pretenders. Or maybe this is all about how we Penn State fans are so thirsty for the “glory days” of the Paterno era we’ve all become collectively delusional.

Fuck that…it’s way easier to hate Ohio State. It wasn’t poor engineering, shoddy construction, or godawful seamanship. Fuck that…the iceberg sank the Titanic.

Despite all that, one thing that isn’t sinking is the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll. It reinforced it’s icebreaker hull to plow through the bergs of the bookies, cresting upward to the tune of $1,060 last week, bringing the season total to $7,800 up from the original $5K.

And fuck Ohio State…

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Baylor at Cincinnati (-3.5) O/U 47.5 $100 Baylor
• Mississippi State at Arkansas (-6) O/U 49.5 $200 Arkansas
• Penn State at Ohio State (-7.5) O/U 46 $50 Penn State, $50 Under
• Air Force (-10.5) at Navy O/U 36.5 $75 Air Force. $75 Over
• Washington State at Oregon (-11.5) O/U 62.5 $250 Oregon
• Tennessee at Alabama (-7) O/U 56.5 $100 Over
• Wisconsin (-4) at Illinois O/U 41.5 $100 Under
• Minnesota at Iowa (-6.5) O/U 36.5 $50 Minnesota, $50 Under
• Virginia at North Carolina (-20.5) O/U 56 $150 North Carolina
• Texas Christian at Kansas State (-7.5) O/U 55.5 $50 Texas Christian
• Texas Tech (-4.5) at Brigham Young O/U 52.5 $100 Brigham Young
• Mississippi (-6.5) at Auburn O/U 55.5 $50 Auburn
• Clemson (-10) at Miami (FL) O/U 52.5 $200 Clemson
• Utah at Southern California (-2.5) O/U 57.5 $100 Utah, $100 Over

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Purdue is idle this week

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

Army at Louisiana State (-28.5) O/U 57.5 $50 Over

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Washington Huskies.

Arizona State at Washington (-31.5) O/U 62.5 $50 Over

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Michigan (-14) at Michigan State O/U 48 $1,000 Michigan

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