Sure, we all recognize Halloween for it’s tradition of frights. But as the calendar flips to the final full month of the college football regular season, all gamblers know this is when some seriously scary shit can happen.

The true music nerds already know where I’m going with this. If not, the image above should suffice as the mother of all hints. In the immortal words of the recently departed folk legend Gordon Lightfoot…

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they called Gitche Gumee
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy

~ Gordon Lightfoot, “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”

In all honesty, there’s a new-found fascination with greatest of the Great Lakes ever since Mrs. J-Dub and I took a trip up north; spending some time on the south shore of Lake Superior.

Travel tales aside, even on a crisp spring day which saw a stiff northern breeze greeting us with some cold Canadian goodness, you could easily get the sense how this big body of water could easily rile up and swallow a 1,000-foot long ship. Gambling on college football works the same way. Time moves forward, which means eventually the serene breezes of September swell into the gales of November.

As the season winds down, the stakes go up. Teams are jockeying for position for play-off spots, bowl bids, conference championships…and most importantly…rivalry games. With precious few exceptions, most of the storied rivalries in college football happen after Halloween. For gamblers, this is where the aforementioned scary shit occurs. Such games exemplify the cliché “throw the records out the window.” These games can change a team’s view of an entire season; failure can become success simply by beating their hated rival.

Rivalry is the wind which whips the college football waters into those ship-swallowing swells. Even the most superior gamblers run the risk of being swamped in November. So far, J-Dub Gambling Challenge has fared well, hauling in $288 last week to bring the season’s total to $8,403, up from the original $5K.

But like the song says “T’was the witch of November come stealin’.”

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Colorado State at Wyoming (-6.5) O/U 41 $75 Wyoming
• Notre Dame at Clemson (-4.5) O/U 44 $50 Clemson
• Kansas State at Texas (-4) O/U 49 $75 Texas
• Texas A&M at Mississippi (-3) O/U 54 $100 Mississippi
• Arkansas at Florida (-7) O/U 48.5 $75 Florida, $75 Under
• Wisconsin (-10) at Indiana O/U 43.5 $50 Wisconsin, $50 Under
• Nebraska (-1.5) at Michigan State O/U 34.5 $100 Under
• Ohio State (-18.5) at Rutgers 43.5 $200 Ohio State
• Arizona State at Utah (-12.5) O/U 42.5 $50 Arizona State
• Army at Air Force (-18) O/U 35.5 $50 Army
• Florida State (-21.5) at Pittsburgh O/U 49.5 $75 Florida State
• Oklahoma (-8) at Oklahoma State O/U 62.5 $250 Oklahoma
• Missouri at Georgia (-15.5) O/U 55 $250 Georgia
• Iowa (-8) at Northwestern O/U 30.5 $100 Iowa, $100 Under
• Brigham Young at West Virginia (-8) O/U 50.5 $50 Brigham Young
• Kansas at Iowa State (-1) O/U 49.5 $100 Kansas
• Kentucky (-3.5) at Mississippi State O/U 45.5 $200 Kentucky
• Louisiana State at Alabama (-7.5) O/U 58.5 $100 Alabama
• Oregon State (-13.5) at Colorado O/U 61.5 $75 Oregon State. $75 Over
• Boise State at Fresno State (-3.5) O/U 54.5 $100 Fresno State
• UCLA (-1.5) at Arizona O/U 58.5 $200 UCLA

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Purdue at Michigan (-28.5) O/U 49.5 $100 Michigan, $100 Over

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

Connecticut at Tennessee (-35) O/U 52.5 $25 Over

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Washington Huskies.

Washington at Southern California (-6) O/U 70.5 $250 Washington

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Penn State (-11.5) at Maryland O/U 48.5 $750 Penn State, $750 Over

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P.S. If you ever find yourself in Ashland, Wisconsin, be sure to check out the Blue Wave Inn and Sandbar Restaurant.

P.P.S. When you lose your bankroll, today’s theme song is a great soundtrack for going out to your garage, closing the garage door tightly, starting your car, and drifting into the magic land where every bet covers…

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