What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Softball

Have you ever had one of those moments where you can’t believe what you are reading, yet you aren’t surprised this is the level to which we have sunk as a society? Well, look no farther than Palm Desert, California for today’s example.

“Palm Desert High School is without a girls varsity softball coach after the Desert Sand Unified School District fired their current coach Ashley Nieto.  This all comes after a criminal investigation accused Neito’s husband, Ronald, who is a registered sex offender, of volunteering with the girls softball team without the school’s permission.  The Riverside County Sheriff’s Department conducted their own investigation, and the DA’s office charged him with 3 misdemeanors.  Ronald Nieto pled guilty in 1998 to lewd acts with a child. The child is now his current wife: the former coach of the girls softball team Ashley Nieto. At the time Ashley was 14, Nieto was 39.”

This is patently disgusting. When as a nation did we allow softball to be considered a varsity sport? Face it, America…softball is bullshit.

Who the hell would choose to play softball when you could play baseball instead? There are only two types to from which to choose: pony-tailed girls forced into softball since the schools won’t let them play baseball or ever-widening adult slackjaws who want to get exercise but who don’t want to overextend their beer-bloated asses. If you need a lazy alternative to baseball, then you don’t deserve to live. Have that brain-splattering stroke you’ve been saving up for and leave the rest of us alone.

Softball wishes it were baseball. The playing field is a mini-me to a legitimate baseball diamond, the structure of the game is nearly identical, and it shares many of the basic rules. But it is those changes that make it suck. The length of the base paths, the length of the bat, the length of the match itself…everything about softball falls short.  The only thing softball does well is illustrate the hypocrisy and cowardice of the International Olympic Committee (IOC).

See, the problem is softball got the IOC get called out on it’s sexist bullshit. Much like the bullshit no-contact version of hockey they foisted on women, they saddled women with the stripped-down, unwatchable version of baseball. While the men get to play a real sport, the women get stuck with the sexist bullshit of the IOC. The world would be a better place if we got to see those women wielding a Louisville Slugger and storming 90-foot basepaths on which they can occasionally spike a shortstop. But what did the IOC do when it was caught in this obvious sexism? It lierraly threw out the baby with the bathwater; getting rid of both softball and baseball.

Women get forced into this goofy sport, but there is no fucking excuse for being a man who plays softball. Drive by a softball diamond on a night when all the men’s leagues are playing. You will never see a bigger collection of drunken yokels, standing around with their stumpy bats and huge, yellow balls. Seriously, for some reason they are only ever seen in groups of 30 or more and there must be a law that states in each such group, only two can have any real athletic ability whatsoever. There is always at least 30 of them on the field at any given time. There are fewer things funnier than watching the guy who can actually play desperately trying not to lap the two fat-humps clogging the basepaths in front of him’ unless it watching one of those humps turn bright red and drop dead on home plate from a massive coronary.

Softball is a sport, but a half-assed one. Women are forced to play it, and the men who play softball usually have full woman-breasts. That’s what you get for playing this aberration of a sport.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

One comment on “Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Softball

  1. spatula
    March 28, 2010

    softball is pretty sexist

    they could just have a women’s baseball league with the same rules and everything


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This entry was posted on February 27, 2010 by in Baseball, Olympics and tagged , , , .

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