Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

The Western Collegiate Hockey Association Tournament – The Final Five

The first round of the mayhem known as the Western Collegiate Hockey Association (WCHA) is a best-of-three series, but some teams didn’t get the memo, deciding instead to require a bit of extra hockey on Friday night. Both of the extended games went as expected, with St. Cloud State continuing its overtime woes, and Colorado College finding yet another way to not get it done on the road. The rest of the opening night slate went per expectations, with the higher-seed prevailing on home ice.

Oh, and follow this link if you still need an explanation for the Simpsons characters…

Friday Night’s Results:

  • #10 Comic Book Guy (Michigan Tech)  1, #1 Frank Grimes (Denver)  2
  • #9 Nelson Muntz (Alaska-Anchorage)  1, #2 Homer Simpson (Wisconsin)  4 
  • #8 Carl Carlson (Minnesota State)  5, #3 Lisa Simpson (St. Cloud State ) 4  –  OT
  • #7 Barney Gumble (Minnesota)  0, #4 Mr. Burns (North Dakota)  6 
  • #6 Ned Flanders (Colorado College)  2, #5 Lenny Leonard (Minnesota-Duluth)   3   –  OT

Saturday Night’s Results:

The recently departed Edward Woodward could have been the guest spokesman for Saturday’s slate, as the night proved to be an Equalizer in 3 out of 5 series, thus ensuring a slate of Sunday action. The top two seeds kept things going per expectations while St. Cloud State, Minnesota, and Colorado College kept their faint national tournament bid hopes securely connected to life-support for at least another day.

  • #10 Comic Book Guy (Michigan Tech)  2, #1 Frank Grimes (Denver)  4  – Michigan Tech eliminated
  • #9 Nelson Muntz (Alaska-Anchorage)  2, #2 Homer Simpson (Wisconsin)  7  – Alaska-Anchorage eliminated
  • #8 Carl Carlson (Minnesota State)  2, #3 Lisa Simpson (St. Cloud State)  3  – Series tied at 1
  • #7 Barney Gumble (Minnesota)  4, #4 Mr. Burns (North Dakota)  2  – Series tied at 1 
  • #6 Ned Flanders (Colorado College)  5, #5  Lenny Leonard (Minnesota-Duluth)  3  – Series tied at 1 

Sunday Night’s Results:

The rich get richer…even though Minnesota State took their series into overtime twice, all the top seeds advance to St. Paul.

  • #8 Carl Carlson (Minnesota State)  2,  #3 Lisa Simpson (St. Cloud State)  3 – Minnesota State eliminated
  • #7 Barney Gumble (Minnesota)  1, #4 Mr. Burns (North Dakota)  4  – Minnesota eliminated
  • #6 Ned Flanders (Colorado College)  0, #5 Lenny Leonard (Minnesota-Duluth)  4  – Colorado College eliminated

With the first weekend of carnage in the books, it is time to look to the matchups for the Final Five. This is like the bonus round on a game show, except with a lot more violence. Let’s be honest, name a game show that wouldn’t be improved with some ass-kicking…

#5 Lenny Leonard (Minnesota-Duluth) vs. #4 Mr. Burns (North Dakota)

The battle between the schools separated by a mere letter (UMD vs. UND) and one seed. In all honesty, the difference between these teams is bit greater than those little alpha-numeric bits. Expect North Dakota to continue its tradition under head coach Dave Hakstol to overcome a slow regular-season start by pulverizing all that dare stand before them in the conference tournament.

Advances to face #1 Frank Grimes (Denver): North Dakota Fighting Sioux

#3 Lisa Simpson (St. Cloud State) vs. #2 Homer Simpson (Wisconsin)

Is there anything more enjoyable than a good, old-fashioned father-daughter beat-down? This is the perfect scenario for a St. Cloud State side coming off two tough overtime wins to be exposed for the weak #3 seed they are. You can shake the magic 8-ball all you want; it’s still going to come up “Wisconsin Wins.”

Advances to Championship Game: Wisconsin Badgers

#4 vs. #5 Winner vs. #1 Frank Grimes (Denver)

If this game features the anticipated matchup of North Dakota and Denver, we should be treated to a bloodbath not seen since the Battle of the Somme. These two teams are not only the two best playoff performers in the conference, they also share a bitter rivalry that has erupted into fisticuffs on more than one occasion. As much as it pains me to say this, this just seems like Denver’s year; look for their high-octane offense to flat outscore the T-Rex style defense employed by the Sioux. North Dakota will have to settle for taking out its frustrations in the third-place game, with St. Cloud State likely being the victim of the Big Green Rampage.

Advances to Championship Game: Denver Pioneers

Projected Championship Game: #2 Homer Simpson (Wisconsin) vs. #1 Frank Grimes (Denver)

Like I said before, this just seems like Denver’s year. While in my opinion Wisconsin has played far above expectations all season, the over-achieving likely ends here, as I just don’t think Frank Grimes is going to grab the high-voltage lines this time.

Broadmoor Trophy Winner: Denver Pioneers

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What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

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