- Today’s Movie: The Asphalt Jungle
- Year of Release: 1950
- Stars: Sterling Hayden, Louis Calhern, Jean Hagen
- Director: John Huston
This movie is on my list of essential films.
Today’s installment of Sports Analogies Hidden In Classic Movies is just one of many contributions to a event called the Marilyn 100th Anniversary Blog-A-Thon being hosted by Hoofers & Honeys. Kristen is a prolific and gifted writer, and you should check out her blog only as a starting point for exploring all her work!
But as with all of these events, there’s a litany of great writers involved, and you can see them all here…
- Day One
- Day Two
- Day Three
The Story:
Yeah, I know this is a Marilyn Monroe event. Yeah, I know she’s on-screen for less than five minutes in this film. That’s exactly why I picked it. Well…that and the fact the above movie poster is also in our “celebrity bathroom.”
Like today’s film, that bathroom is also set in an unnamed midwestern city.
The Asphalt Jungle is based on the 1949 novel by W.R. Burnett; a story of a meticulously planned jewel theft. Recently paroled criminal mastermind Erwin “Doc” Riedenschneider (played by Sam Jaffe) assembles a team of career criminals including Dix Handley (played by Sterling Hayden) for a $1 million burglary.
At first, Doc needs $50,000 to hire three men to enact his plan. Once out of prison, he visits a bookie named Cobby (played by Marc Lawrence), who arranges a meeting between Doc and Alonzo Emmerich (played by Louis Calhern), a high-society (albeit completely corrupt) lawyer. When Doc tells Emmerich he believes his plan will net a haul worth at least half a million dollars, Emmerich agrees to front the money to Doc and to find a fence for the the stolen goods.
Later, the viewer discovers Emmerich is in dire financial straits himself when private eye Bob Brannom (played by Brad Dexter) visits him to collect a debt. Emmerich is broke, but he convinces Brannom to go along with a plan to help him double-cross the others and keep the jewels he’s supposed to fence for themselves.
Unaware of Emmerich’s treachery, Doc hires Louie Ciavelli (played by Anthony Caruso) as the safecracker. As part of his coming on board, Ciavelli only trusts Gus Minissi (played by James Whitmore) to be the getaway driver. Doc’s team is finally complete with the hiring of Handley.
Per the plan, Ciavelli breaches a brick wall to access the jewelry store and deactivates an alarm to admit Doc and Handley. However when Ciavelli uses nitroglycerine to blow the safe, the explosion triggers several alarms. As a result, Handley struggles with a security guard. When the guard drops his pistol, it fires hitting Ciavelli in the gut. Doc and his men escape, but now a police manhunt is underway.
Ciavelli insists that Minissi take him home, but Ciavelli’s wife Maria (played by Teresa Celli) demands he be taken to the hospital. But they can’t do that as hospitals are required to report gunshot wounds to the police. Instead, Minissi sends for a doctor they trust to keep things quiet.
There’s more intrigue afoot as Doc and Handley began to have suspicions about Emmerich. They are aware of his plan to double-cross them and escape to Europe with their spoils. The two confront Emmerich to collect, Brannon draws a gun to protect his partner, but is immediately killed by Handley.
Even though Handley is also wounded in the exchange with Brannon, Doc chides Emmerich for his foolish plan and tell him his best option is now to offer the loot back to the jeweler’s insurance company to collect the reward and avoid hopefully avoid suspicion in the burglary.
With the law closing in, even more intrigue comes into play. After Emmerich dumps Brannom’s body in the river, the police find the incriminating list of debtors on the corpse…and it’s written on Emmerich’s letterhead. When questioned, Emmerich claims he spent the night with his mistress, Angela Phinlay (played by Marilyn Monroe). But when corrupt cop Lieutenant Ditrich (played by Barry Kelley) enters the picture, everything takes another twist.
Ditrich’s boss Police Commissioner Hardy (played by John McIntire) is also on this case. To cover his own tracks (namely to hide the fact he’s on Cobby’s payroll), Ditrich arrests Cobby and beats a confession out of him. Now that Cobby spilled the beans, Commissioner Hardy arrests Emmerich at Angela’s home and threatens her with arrest for providing Emmerich with an alibi.
Knowing the proverbial jig is up, when the police allow Emmerich to leave the room to phone his wife, he commits suicide with a gunshot. After Minissi is arrested, he attacks Cobby in jail. When the police knock on Ciavelli’s door to arrest him, they get no answer. Their forcible entry only interrupts Ciavelli’s funeral.
With the walls closing in, Doc offers some of the jewels to Handley, but he refuses. Instead, Handley just wants to get back home to Kentucky. Handley’s girlfriend Doll Conovan (played by Jean Hagen) gets a car and insists on going with him. Handley also convinces Doc to take some money and escape while he still can.
Doc gets a cab driver to take him to Cleveland, which is several hours away. When they stop at a roadside diner, Doc becomes entranced by a pretty young woman dancing to the jukebox. During his distraction, Doc is arrested by two policemen who recognized him and found the stolen jewels in his overcoat.
Barely staying a step ahead of the police, Handley is suffering from blood loss and eventually faints. Doll gets him to a doctor, who as required notifies the police about Handley’s gunshot wound. However, Handley regains consciousness and continues to elude his pursuers. His escape is short-lived, as they are driving through the hills of Kentucky, Handley becomes delirious. He makes it make to his horse farm, only to die before Doll can get him to surrender to the police.
The Hidden Sports Analogy:
Today’s analogy is short and to the point; it’s not my usual 2,000 word ramble job. But it is why I picked this movie…and why there’s a picture of one of my bathrooms.
It all begins and ends with the poster for this movie seen in both that bathroom and this piece. The problem is it’s a clear case of false advertising. By looking at it, you would think Marilyn Monroe was the star of The Asphalt Jungle.
She’s clearly not.
As I’ve already mentioned, the artist formerly known as Norma Jean is only on screen for about five minutes, yet that poster gives you the idea the plot revolves around her.
It clearly doesn’t.
I hate this sort of “bait and switch.” It is one of my biggest issues with a recent installment of Movies Everybody Loves But I Hate. The poster for North Dallas Forty would lead you to believe it’s a madcap comedy about football.
It’s soooo not.
But it wasn’t until I invested in it I realized it’s a “how the sausage gets made” view of professional football. The “bait and switch” here is so blatant, I would have thought major sports leagues would figure this is a bad business model.
The National Basketball Association (NBA) obviously didn’t.
Not only does the NBA condone this sort of chicanery, they’ve codified it in their most recent collective bargaining agree (CBA). Thanks to some bilge called “Load Management,” you can easily drop hundreds if not thousands of dollars to attend an NBA game only to find the star player you came to see isn’t playing because of something called “Load Management.”
If you’re not familiar, “Load Management” is just the NBA’s way of saying the world-class athletes in their prime can’t play a game they’ve been playing their entire lives for two hours a night 3 or maybe 4 nights a week. It’s also the NBA’s way of telling the fans the league and the player’s union couldn’t give a frog’s watertight ass about the fan experience.
Not only does that explain the league’s abysmal TV ratings, but every empty seat in an NBA arena represents somebody who blew a grand taking a kid to a game so he could see the guy whose poster he has on his wall, only to discover the sole reason you’re there needs “rest.”
That’s a business model so broken even five minutes of Marilyn Monroe couldn’t fix it.
The Moral of the Story:
Stars are who the people pay to see. Give the people what they want.
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