Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Your Jamie Moyer Update 07/16/10 – It May Be Time To Say “Phuck Philadelphia Phans”

Sadly, all roads have bumps, particularly those that take 24 years to traverse. While Moyer has a lot of history in the Windy City, it would be a safe bet to say he would rather not remember the most recent bit of it.

Moyer heads back to the mound after serving up his 2nd homer of the 3rd inning.

Last night, Moyer took a beating, giving up 6 earned runs on five hits in three innings. In what was his second-shortest outing on the season, the future Hall-of-Famer gave up two more home runs, bringing his all-time record mark to 511. As for the rest of the numbers on the Moyer-o-meter, well, you can see for yourself.

But more importantly, this is Moyer’s third straight loss, and one of only two on the year where he really struggled. For a while this year, Moyer pitched better than the team ace, Roy Halladay. It begs the question, Philadelphia: Where’s your love for Jamie Moyer?

That’s right, Philly fans; I’m calling you out. Come throw all the batteries you want at my house, but if you don’t support Jamie Moyer, you suck dog balls as sports fans. Sure, he is in a bit of rough spot right now, but that’s when real fandom kicks in.  You will show your loyalty to some shit-bag like Allen Iverson, so why can’t Moyer get any love?

First of all, Moyer is a hometown guy. He was born in Sellersville, PA and attended St. Joseph’s University. At age 47, he’s been in the Major Leagues for 24 seasons and pitched over 4,000 innings. That means Moyer has been in the majors since before many of today’s players were born. Moyer has won more games in his 40s than he did in his 20s, and theoretically could win #300 should he still be pitching when his age matches his jersey number.

Moyer was actually on a Major League roster when the Phillies wore these togs everyday.

Know what that means, Phillie fans? It means this guy should be a goddamn hero to each and every one you of Philadelphia fat humps who tunes in from his recliner with his remote in one hand and some cheap-shit beer in the other. Don’t forget just a few years ago, Moyer was a crucial part of a Philadelphia team winning a major sports championship, which happens about as often as a fucking solar eclipse. Keep in mind there are a lot of you who might be fifteen years younger than Moyer who can’t even play wiffle-ball with your kid without pulling every goddamn muscle in your body or fuck your wife without taking a handful of pills.

In other words, Philadelphia, it is time for you to get off your collective cheese-steak softened asses and cheer for the ageless wonder every time he takes the hill. If you don’t you will officially be the shittiest sports fans in America.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

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This entry was posted on July 16, 2010 by in Baseball and tagged , .

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