Welcome to Hate Week – SoCal Baseball Style And The Vin Scully Drinking Game
Fuck the Dodgers.
There’s all kinds of reasons to hate the Dodgers, Lord knows I’ve written about them time and time again. Just find “Los Angeles Dodgers” in the Tag Cloud on this page and you will see what I mean.
But one thing I’ve never mentioned is the Dodger Dog. If you’ve never had one, save yourself some time and anguish. Buy one, and rather than eating it, grind it into a fine paste and rub it into the back of your underwear; that’s where it’s going to end up anyway. Let’s be honest, anybody that can fuck up pork sausage deserves all the scorn and derision that can be heaped upon them.
It's actually safer to eat this stuffed toy.
As far as the baseball is concerned, the fun part is that the Angels began their time in Southern California paying rent to the Dodgers. In fact, that where the name “Chavez Ravine” comes from, as that’s what Angel announcers called it so they didn’t have to say “Dodger Stadium” during Angels games. But now the Angels own the Dodgers, holding a 46-34 all-time record against the Blue Bastards, including being 16-8 against the Dodgers since 2007, and including winning five of their last six at CHAVEZ RAVINE.
But, this is all about the enjoyment of baseball, so I encourage all of you in SoCal to tune into the Dodgers coverage of these games and play the Vin Scully Drinking Game.
Take One Drink:
- For each Dodger left in scoring position (double if Matt Kemp is on the field during the death of the rally)
- Vin Scully does an ad during the action – example: “Let’s take time out from that triple play to talk about Farmer John’s Pure Pork Sausage.”
- Don Mattingly is shown sitting on the bench (double if he is leaning on the dugout rail)
- Matt Kemp whiffs at a high pitch
- Vin Scully refers to something that happened more than 20 years ago
- James Loney strikes out (double if he Ks looking)
- A Dodger hits into a double play (double if it’s Andre Ethier, triple if James Loney is on the field, and quadruple if Matt Kemp is on the field)
- Vin Scully injects a fact about a player – example: “There’s a fastball for strike two…Matt Kemp, born in Oklahoma.”
- For each Dodger base-running gaffe
- Vin Scully refers to Matt Kemp as “Kent”
Leave it to an Angel to let some Dodgers meet their maker.
So, drink up and enjoy watching a Angel sweep. Oh, and fuck the Dodgers.
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This game should come with some form of parental rating…for the parents, of course. And it sounds like the Dodger Dog should also…
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You better be drinking if you eat one of those Dodger Dogs. I think I’ve had better ones from 7-11. I was at the game yesterday working for Fox’s national telecast, and was sitting in the dugout for a majority of the game. The Dodgers have one of the quietest dugouts I’ve ever seen. They pretty much didn’t talk during the game, and they didn’t really seem to cheer eachother on much. No surprise why this team isn’t playing well…
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I would imagine getting roasted and being a Dodgers fan would go hand in hand these days.
Ease your pain.
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