According to the NCAA, Everybody’s Dirty – Even Arch-Criminal Joe Paterno
First there was Pete Carroll and USC. Then, there was Cheatypants McSweatervest and Ohio State. Lord knows what will come out of the whole Auburn/Cam Newton fiasco. Now, the web of trechery and deceit has ensnared the dean of college football, Joe Paterno.
You read that right, the esteemed elder statesman, who’s literally been coaching since the leather helmet era, has run afoul of the NCAA.
The 84-year-old coach acknowledged Monday that he inadvertently broke an NCAA rule while walking through his own campus at Penn State. He said he stopped to watch several football players during their voluntary workout — he didn’t speak to anyone — and then reported back to his other coaches that one player in particular looked good. One of the assistant coaches then told Paterno that he had committed an NCAA violation. Of course, it’s a minor violation, but one that Penn State has already acknowledged it’s reporting to the NCAA.
Of course, upon notification, Paterno was immediately arrested, charged with the violation, which according to NCAA by-laws allowed him to be named as a co-conspirator in the Lindbergh kidnapping, indicted in the Nuremberg war crimes tribunal, and the Warren Commission was re-convened at which point they edited the Zapruder film to clearly show Coach Paterno on the grassy knoll with a Mannlicher-Carcona 6.5mm bolt-action rifle.
Paterno being transferred to Guantanamo.
“Our compliance office is aware and will relay the circumstances to determine if there was a secondary violation,” Penn State spokesman Jeff Nelson told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.
Let’s be clear here…I get why the NCAA has some of the rules that it does, but we are talking about an old man taking a walk as a violation. What’s next, outlawing feeding the ducks in the park?
Paterno actually spilled the beans during a taping of “Difference Makers: Life Lessons with Paterno and Krzyzewski,” which chronicles the careers of the Penn State coach and Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski.
Paterno was responding to a question about the current state of NCAA athletics and both he and Krzyzewski said the rules needed to be updated to keep up with modern times.
Paterno, just moments before he was taken into federal custody.
For once, I agree with Krzyzewski; largely because he agrees with Paterno. The NCAA is like a labor union; an organization that started with a noble purpose, then became corrupt while outliving its usefulness. There are people who have blatantly exploited the system for great personal profit (Cam Newton, Jim Tressel, etc…), meanwhile the NCAA has people reporting themselves for taking a walk.
This is just another example of how ridiculous the NCAA has become. Don’t get me wrong, there does need to be some sort of governance to keep college football becoming the “Wild West.” The trouble is now it doesn’t have one; instead it has a dysfunctional group of hypocrites who exist solely to make college sports a big business, protect anybody who helps make it so, and pretend to be a guardian of virtue by enforcing a bunch of ridiculous rules that don’t make a damn bit of difference.
I’d have a better ending for this rant, except the story is breaking that a Denny’s in State College allowed Joe Paterno to order the “EarlyBird Special,” despite the fact that it was 3:54 P.M., when the menu clearly states it is only available after 4. As a repeat offender, this may cost Penn State some scholarships…
News as it develops on Joe Paterno, the Arch-Criminal of the Millenium.
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6 comments on “According to the NCAA, Everybody’s Dirty – Even Arch-Criminal Joe Paterno”
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Dubsism 
Paterno is a criminal ? Oh well nothing new simply another day in the world of college sports ! We have UCF on trial in a civil suit over the death of football player Erick Planscher who suffered from sickle cell trait . The coaching staff was fully aware of his illness but somehow during drills the staff prohibited players from taking in fluids during a 100 degree heatwave and humid conditions . Coach at the time George O’Leary says he can’t remember ever telling a staff member to stop players from consuming any fluids during a break but at the time there was no water with 400 yds of the training field and not one of the coaches trained in any form of CPR . The kid died , hence the lawsuit by his family claiming negligence on the part of the school and in particular O’Leary .
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Funny stuff man! I never understood who or what some of the NCAA rules really protected. In most cases, the rules seem outdated… Hopefully he got his early bird special 🙂
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chappy
The NCAA is an archaic monolith ! I mean they’re intent on being viewed as the beacon of morality when it comes to overseeing collegiate athletics but in reality they’re simply just as corrupt as the vast majority of the college programs out there are to begin with !
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The perp walk picture of Paterno is priceless. Best laugh in a long time. JoePa is one of my “favorite” targets…um…subjects having watched top recruit after top recruit pass on PSU for other colleges. As a grad of the PSU system…this wounds me greatly.
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Cheatypants McSweatervest.
Glorious, man.
I imagine you and Kev’ll be the first in line to bail out Paterno?
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Bail? Forget bail…we’re busting him outta there!
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