Frank McCourt Death Watch – Day25: The Day IT Happened

No matter what else happens in the Dubsism coverage of the final days of the McCourt regime in Los Angeles, this will be a day of infamy. Those of you that know me, those of you who have been readers of this blog, you know I have been a life-long hater of the Los Angeles Dodgers.  As such, to this point I have considered Dodger legend Steve Garvey to be a scourge on baseball as horrible as astroturf and those powder-blue, polyester uniforms of the 1970’s combined. Therefore, those of you that know me, those of you who have been readers of this blog may want to sit down before I make the following announcement. Follow this link for a musical interlude while we give everybody time to prepare for what will be a major annoucement.

Ready or not, here it comes.  Steve Garvey and I are on the same side of the McCourt issue. I’ll wait while you catch your breath.

Call it whatever you will, use whichever cliche you need – politics makes strange bedfellows, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, or Frank McCourt is a slimy cocksucker who deserves to be fed to giant flesh-eating cockroaches. In any event, Garvey and I now find ourselves in the same position as Franklin Roosevelt and Joseph Stalin in 1939. We may not like each other, but there is a far greater evil in the world; one so great that destroying it requires the alliance of former enemies.

Steve Garvey, the former iconic first baseman for the Los Angeles Dodgers, on Friday was fired by the team for his aggressive and public attempts to buy out embattled owner Frank McCourt.

Twice in recent weeks Garvey has taken his plans to the media, first to Fox, then to ESPN radio. In April he told the Los Angeles Times he’d formed an investment group that included billionaire Ron Burkle, although later he confirmed a Yahoo! Sports report that he’d overstated his financial relationship with Burkle. He has enlisted former Dodgers pitcher Orel Hershiser as part of his prospective management group.

In spite of heavy debt, an ongoing dispute with Major League Baseball and last week’s bankruptcy filing, McCourt has said repeatedly he would not sell the Dodgers.

Though he drew a regular paycheck from McCourt and had been asked by the club to cease efforts that would undermine McCourt’s ownership, Garvey continued to seek community and financial support.

Let’s be honest here, Garvey is the perfect owner for the Dodgers. I can’t have a guy like Mark Cuban own a team I hate; he might commit the cardinal sin of rescuing the Dodgers from their two-decade long funk.

First of all, just look at that picture of the Garv-ster. A 62-year old guy hanging on to 35 through cosmetic surgery and hair dye is perfect for the plastic, fantastic world that is Los Angeles.  Secondly, he allows me to continue hating him and this franchise all in good fun; Dodger fans love him and I love to hate him – its a match made in heaven. He’s another one of those “bleed Dodger Blue” types; Garvey’s affiliation with the Dodgers goes back 55 years when he was a batboy at the age of seven.

More importantly, Garvey has the most important quality for ownership under Osama Bud Selig’s regime; he has a shady financial past. Through divorces, lawsuits, and other entanglements,  Garvey has had a series of financial setbacks and left behind a trail of unpaid bills.

With the news of Garvey’s firing by the Dodgers, it is time to mount the campaign for Steve Garvey to be the new owner. With the qualities I’ve listed, her simply perfect. Not to mention, Garvey in the Dodger’s corner office ensures years upon years of fodder for Dubsism, and let’s face it, it really is all about me.