Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Great Moments in Minnesota Twins History: The Day Hating Joe Mauer Entered The Afterlife

A few years ago, I would have never imagined this moment was possible; Joe Mauer was a god in catcher’s gear in Minnesota. But, when you sign a contract worth roughly the gross national product of Portugal, then bat under .250 with absolutely no power, the tables are going to turn.

But now we’ve entered a whole new realm. Thanks to the good people over at SportsPickle, we’ve learned that hating Mauer continues even after you’ve shaken off this mortal catcher’s coil. That’s the official confirmation that the love affair between Twins fans and the former hometown hero is now officially over.

My first clue the relationship was over came when the Chairman of the Dubsism Advisory Board, the esteemed Dick Marple, would only refer to Mauer as “the $23 million singles hitter.” Frankly, I may owe some money to the other member of that board as I may have bet the curse on Mauer’s house would come from Mr. Marple’s deathbed.  My bad bets notwithstanding, I can just imagine the curse a culture that contains the ascerbic Marple disdain and hatred from the grave would cast…

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What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

5 comments on “Great Moments in Minnesota Twins History: The Day Hating Joe Mauer Entered The Afterlife

  1. ChrisHumpherys (@SportsChump)
    September 20, 2011

    Hey, at least you can see him in those awful Head and Shoulders commercials.

    Three home runs in three hundred at-bats this season? If anyone still collected baseball cards, they’d look back at Mauer’s stats in 2011 and wonder what the hell happened.

    It’s too early to say the Mauer deal was Allan Houston-esque but um, Minnesota’s going to lose 100 games this season. Last time I checked, that’s not good.

    Like

  2. chappy81
    September 20, 2011

    He fell as fast as Zito did! I’d feel bad for him, but I’m sure those dives into his moneybin cure all that…

    Like

  3. sportsattitudes
    September 21, 2011

    I have never read an obituary quite like that. (um, Josiah’s…not Joe’s)

    Like

  4. Dick Marple
    September 21, 2011

    To get a feel for how Twins Nation feels about Mauer and the collapse, look at the StarTribune online. Read the commentaries after Twins articles**. Might be more interesting to go back a few months, when fans actually cared. Lots of resentment about Mauer’s $142K per game whether he plays or not. Lots of blue and white collar rage from people who don’t get paid if they don’t show up. Take a look at his season totals Divide each stat by 23M and see what he was paid per “accomplishment”.

    **Do not read the articles unless you want to know why M Cuddyer is the greatest player EVER. My god, the guy is nearing the unheard of 70 RBI plateau !!!

    My question for Mauer is: Why did he wait until December for knee surgery which could have been done in October ? The two month delay in rehab screwed his entire season.

    GM Bill Smith and Mgr Gardenhire are way ahead of Mauer on the Marple rage-o-meter. More later on these spawns of Satan.

    Chairman of the Dubism Advisory Board ? You flatter me, sir. I do fear the Legitimate Businessmen who reserve “Chairman of the Board” for
    Mr Sinatra. I’ll settle for Chief Minnesota Correspondent.

    Like

  5. tophatal
    September 21, 2011

    JW

    Who’s said to be the bigger idiot with regard to the Joe Mauer fiasco ? The owner Jim Pohlad for approving the deal or GM Bill Smith for being lured into this by Mauer’s agent who I believe is none other than Ron Shapiro ?

    Guys like Scott Boras and Shapiro , besides the stupidity shown by the general managers are one of the primary reasons why we see these deals repeatedly happening within the game . If you’ve got time try making up a list of the others ?

    tophatal …..

    Like

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