The Dubsism “Anti-Kiper” 2012 NFL Draft Board

Now that we are finally past the Super Bowl, it is time to address the needs of your team heading into the NFL Draft. So, while you are spending today erasing that fog in your head made of far too much cheap beer and delivery pizza, take a few moments to look forward so that your team can give itself a better shot to be where the Giants find themselves today.
Everybody has a NFL Draft “Big Board.” But unlike the ones you get from the “professionals” at ESPN, we here at Dubsism offer a draft board based on the fact we actually have watched college football at some point in our lifetimes. This means we don’t care about how much we love to hear our own bloviation, there isn’t another blog out there taking shots at us yet (so we don’t have that whole “Mel Kiper/Todd McShay thing happening), and we aren’t worried about how much face time our increasingly oddly-shaped pompadour gets.
Rather, we would rather put out rookie draft “shopping list” that we feel is our best effort to help you, the NFL fan who knows almost nothing about college football beyond Andrew Luck. We also won’t give you any flowery summaries of these players; there’s eight billion other sites doing that. Our model is you peruse the lists, both overall and by position, and decide which of these guys may help plug the numerous holes your favorite team has. However, we don’t bother with kickers and punters, largely because they are literally a “dime-a-dozen” and if you think a kicker is all that separates your team from a Super Bowl, you likely need a psychiatrist more than a draft board.
After the Super Bowl, we will revisit this list with some advice on what your sorry-ass team needs to do in order to improve itself, and this board will play a large part in that counsel. The one thing I would caution you against is that we here at Dubsism are firm believers in the “Mike Mamula” rule; meaning we don’t put much stock in the witchcraft that are the NFL Combines, so don’t expect this board to change significantly.
The Top Overall “Yes You Do Need Me, You Better Draft Me” 64:
- Andrew Luck QB Stanford
- Matt Kalil OT USC
- Robert Griffin III QB Baylor
- Alshon Jeffery WR South Carolina
- Trent Richardson RB Alabama
- Morris Claiborne CB LSU
- Justin Blackmon WR Oklahoma State
- Riley Reiff OT Iowa
- Devon Still DT Penn State
- Vontaze Burfict ILB Arizona State
- Courtney Upshaw OLB Alabama
- Mohamed Sanu WR Rutgers
- Melvin Ingram DE South Carolina
- David DeCastro G Stanford
- Dre Kirkpatrick CB Alabama
- Whitney Mercilus OLB Illinois
- Fletcher Cox DT Mississippi St
- Luke Kuechly ILB Boston College
- Zach Brown ILB North Carolina
- Mike Adams OT Ohio State
- Peter Konz C Wisconsin
- Jonathan Martin OT Stanford
- Alfonzo Dennard CB Nebraska
- Quinton Coples DE North Carolina
- Mark Barron S Alabama
- Brandon Weeden QB Oklahoma State
- Nick Perry DE USC
- Michael Brockers DE LSU
- Chris Polk RB Washington
- Michael Floyd WR Notre Dame
- Andre Branch OLB Clemson
- Robert Turbin RB Utah State
- Dontari Poe DT Memphis
- Dont’a Hightower ILB Alabama
- Janoris Jenkins CB North Alabama
- Bobby Massie OT Mississippi
- Kendall Wright WR Baylor
- Lamar Miller RB Miami (FL)
- Levy Adcock OT Oklahoma State
- Bruce Irvin DE West Virginia
- Nick Foles QB Arizona
- Stephen Hill WR Georgia Tech
- Kelechi Osemele G Iowa State
- Chase Minnifield CB Virginia
- Ronnell Lewis OLB Oklahoma
- Dwayne Allen TE Clemson
- LaMichael James RB Oregon
- Juron Criner WR Arizona
- Brandon Thompson DT Clemson
- Zebrie Sanders OT Florida State
- David Wilson RB Virginia Tech
- Markelle Martin S Oklahoma State
- Stephon Gilmore CB South Carolina
- Jared Crick DE Nebraska
- Brandon Washington G Miami (FL)
- Andrew Datko OT Florida State
- Coby Fleener TE Stanford
- Jerel Worthy DT Michigan State
- Dwight Jones WR North Carolina
- Ben Jones C Georgia
- Coryell Judie CB Texas A&M
- Alameda Ta’amu DT Washington
- Brandon Mosley OT Auburn
- Josh Chapman DT Alabama
The Top 15 By Position:
Quarterbacks
- Andrew Luck QB Stanford
- Robert Griffin III QB Baylor
- Brandon Weeden QB Oklahoma State
- Nick Foles QB Arizona
- Ryan Tannehill QB Texas A&M
- B.J. Coleman QB Chattanooga
- Brock Osweiler QB Arizona State
- Kellen Moore QB Boise State
- Ryan Lindley QB San Diego State
- Kirk Cousins QB Michigan State
- Jacory Harris QB Miami (FL)
- Russell Wilson QB Wisconsin
- G.J. Kinne QB Tulsa
- Patrick Witt QB Yale
- Dominique Davis QB East Carolina
Running Backs
- Trent Richardson RB Alabama
- Chris Polk RB Washington
- Robert Turbin RB Utah State
- Lamar Miller RB Miami (FL)
- LaMichael James RB Oregon
- David Wilson RB Virginia Tech
- Doug Martin RB Boise State
- Bernard Pierce RB Temple
- Cyrus Gray RB Texas A&M
- Terrance Ganaway RB Baylor
- Isaiah Pead RB Cincinnati
- Dan Herron RB Ohio State
- Ronnie Hillman RB San Diego State
- Vick Ballard RB Mississippi State
- Tauren Poole RB Tennessee
Wide Receivers
- Alshon Jeffery WR South Carolina
- Justin Blackmon WR Oklahoma State
- Mohamed Sanu WR Rutgers
- Michael Floyd WR Notre Dame
- Kendall Wright WR Baylor
- Stephen Hill WR Georgia Tech
- Juron Criner WR Arizona
- Dwight Jones WR North Carolina
- T.Y. Hilton WR Florida Int’l
- Nick Toon WR Wisconsin
- Marvin McNutt WR Iowa
- A.J. Jenkins WR Illinois
- Ryan Broyles WR Oklahoma
- Jeff Fuller WR Texas A&M
- Jarius Wright WR Arkansas
Tight Ends
- Dwayne Allen TE Clemson
- Coby Fleener TE Stanford
- Orson Charles TE Georgia
- Ladarius Green TE Louisiana-Lafayette
- Michael Egnew TE Missouri
- Brian Linthicum TE Michigan State
- Rhett Ellison TE USC
- Kevin Koger TE Michigan
- David Paulson TE Oregon
- George Bryan TE North Carolina State
- Josh Chichester TE Louisville
- Deangelo Peterson TE LSU
- Anthony Miller TE California
- Beau Reliford TE Florida State
- Nick Provo TE Syracuse
Offensive Tackles
- Matt Kalil OT USC
- Riley Reiff OT Iowa
- Mike Adams OT Ohio State
- Jonathan Martin OT Stanford
- Bobby Massie OT Mississippi
- Levy Adcock OT Oklahoma State
- Zebrie Sanders OT Florida State
- Andrew Datko OT Florida State
- Brandon Mosley OT Auburn
- Nate Potter OT Boise State
- Mitchell Schwartz OT California
- Tony Bergstrom OT Utah
- Matt McCants OT UAB
- Landon Walker OT Clemson
- Tom Compton OT South Dakota
Interior Offensive Lineman
- David DeCastro G Stanford
- Peter Konz C Wisconsin
- Kelechi Osemele G Iowa State
- Brandon Washington G Miami (FL)
- Ben Jones C Georgia
- Cordy Glenn G Georgia
- Kevin Zeitler G Wisconsin
- William Vlachos C Alabama
- Amini Silatolu G Midwestern State
- James Brown G Troy
- Quinton Saulsberry C Mississippi State
- Senio Kelemete G Washington
- Brandon Brooks G Miami (OH)
- David Molk C Michigan
- Lucas Nix G Pittsburgh
Defensive Tackles
- Devon Still DT Penn State
- Fletcher Cox DT Mississippi St
- Dontari Poe DT Memphis
- Brandon Thompson DT Clemson
- Jerel Worthy DT Michigan State
- Alameda Ta’amu DT Washington
- Josh Chapman DT Alabama
- Cam Johnson DT Virginia
- Marcus Forston DT Miami (FL)
- Hebron Fangupo DT BYU
- Jaye Howard DT Florida
- Mike Daniels DT Iowa
- Brett Roy DT Nevada
- Mike Martin DT Michigan
- Nicolas Jean-Baptiste DT Baylor
Defensive Ends
- Melvin Ingram DE South Carolina
- Quinton Coples DE North Carolina
- Nick Perry DE USC
- Michael Brockers DE LSU
- Bruce Irvin DE West Virginia
- Jared Crick DE Nebraska
- Vinny Curry DE Marshall
- Kendall Reyes DE Connecticut
- Chandler Jones DE Syracuse
- Kheeston Randall DE Texas
- Jonathan Massaquoi DE Troy
- Jake Bequette DE Arkansas
- Billy Winn DE Boise State
- Matt Conrath DE Virginia
- Trevor Guyton DE California
Outside Linebackers
- Courtney Upshaw OLB Alabama
- Whitney Mercilus OLB Illinois
- Andre Branch OLB Clemson
- Ronnell Lewis OLB Oklahoma
- Bobby Wagner OLB Utah State
- Lavonte David OLB Nebraska
- Travis Lewis OLB Oklahoma
- Brandon Lindsey OLB Pittsburgh
- Emmanuel Acho OLB Texas
- Keenan Robinson OLB Texas
- Tank Carder OLB TCU
- Nigel Bradham OLB Florida State
- Tyler Nielsen OLB Iowa
- Julian Miller OLB West Virginia
- Josh Kaddu OLB Oregon
Inside Linebackers
- Vontaze Burfict ILB Arizona State
- Luke Kuechly ILB Boston College
- Zach Brown ILB North Carolina
- Dont’a Hightower ILB Alabama
- Sean Spence ILB Miami (FL)
- Audie Cole ILB North Carolina State
- James-Michael Johnson ILB Nevada
- Terrell Manning ILB North Carolina State
- Mychal Kendricks ILB California
- Nathan Stupar ILB Penn State
- Chris Galippo ILB USC
- Jerry Franklin ILB Arkansas
- Max Gruder ILB Pittsburgh
- Adrien Cole ILB Louisiana Tech
- D.J. Holt ILB California
Cornerbacks
- Morris Claiborne CB LSU
- Dre Kirkpatrick CB Alabama
- Alfonzo Dennard CB Nebraska
- Janoris Jenkins CB North Alabama
- Chase Minnifield CB Virginia
- Stephon Gilmore CB South Carolina
- Coryell Judie CB Texas A&M
- Jayron Hosley CB Virginia Tech
- Brandon Boykin CB Georgia
- Casey Hayward CB Vanderbilt
- Trumaine Johnson CB Montana
- Shaun Prater CB Iowa
- Leonard Johnson CB Iowa State
- Josh Robinson CB Central Florida
- Josh Norman CB Coastal Carolina
Safeties
- Mark Barron S Alabama
- Markelle Martin S Oklahoma State
- Aaron Henry S Wisconsin
- Antonio Allen S South Carolina
- Trenton Robinson S Michigan State
- Harrison Smith S Notre Dame
- Brandon Taylor S LSU
- Eddie Whitley S Virginia Tech
- George Iloka S Boise State
- Winston Guy S Kentucky
- Tysyn Hartman S Kansas State
- Duke Ihenacho S San Jose State
- D’Anton Lynn S Penn State
- Janzen Jackson S McNeese State
- Kelcie McCray S Arkansas State
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About J-Dub
What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions
Your list is better than mine, since I don’t watch a whole lot of College Football…
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Great list! You don’t seem like the type of guy who would put JaMarcus Russell #1…
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True, but I also whiffed big time last year on Cam Newton.
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The Eagles need a linebacker and should part ways with Castillo. The Vikings are a clusterfuck of problems. I’d like them to get the best CB or S in the draft. Even move down and get better then average at both would be good. I know they could use a Matt Kalil, but that defensive secondary was hard to watch last year.
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I agree with you on Philly and Castillo. As an Eagle fan, I was never a Vick or Kolb fan, and Vince Young doesn’t exactly cure that for me. But I’m not sold on any of the QBs coming out after Luck and RG3.
But just wait…the “what your team needs to do with it’s pick” post is coming soon…
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I think you’ll probably see Blackmon go before Jeffery and with the number five pick, I’d be perfectly happy to see the Bucs sweep him up.
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Pingback: What Your Team Needs To Do With It’s 2012 NFL Draft Pick « Dubsism
I’ll consult Kipe and get back to you about your list.
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