Leave it to Tommy Lasorda To Have A Heart Attack on the Day I Usually Attack Him Yet Again
A few days ago marked a High Holy Day in the religion of Tommy Lasorda Hating. June 4th marks the anniversary of the “the Kingman tirade,” which is fabled in song and story (rated R for language, definitely not safe for work). It all gets started by some dumb-ass reporter asking a typical dumb-ass question, which inevitably propels Lasorda into channeling Joe Pesci.
Lasorda: Dropping more F-bombs than the 8th Air Force
Normally, this would be the lead-in to 500 heated anti-Lasorda words, but the rules of common decency prevent that this year. Seems the son of a bitch went and had himself a heart attack. According to the celebrity website TMZ, the 84-year-old Lasorda — who ended his managerial career after a prior heart attack in 1996 — was in New York representing the Los Angeles Dodgers at the Major League Baseball Draft. Sadly, their sources say the attack was “mild” and baseball’s Anti-Christ Tommy is expected to be just fine. In fact, he may have already been released from the hospital as of this writing.
Looks like the bottle of champagne I’ve saving to celebrate the death of this Dodger Blue Dickbreath lives to see another day….goddamnit.
So, now the plan becomes looking at some other great managerial episodes.
An obscure, yet personal favorite of mine comes from Kash Beauchamp of the minor league Wichita Wingnuts. First of all, the dude totally looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin. Second of all, it’s really hard to take a guy seriously when he is resplendent in bright red socks.
Then, there’s the general buffoonery of Bobby Cox, the manager who got punted from more major league games than any other.
Keeping this in the Braves’ family means going to the classic meltdown by Mississippi Braves manager Phillip Wellman. How do you not love a guy who uses the rosin bag as an ersatz hand grenade?
No matter what you do, there comes a time to get away from the usual on-field tirades. This can only means a revisit of the Hal McRae episode in Kansas City.
Then there is the classic example of frustration meeting a ill-timed radio interview. That honor is reserved for a 1983 tirade from then-Chicago Cubs’ manager Lee Elia, musing on the lack of fan support from the “Bleacher Bums” of Wrigley Field.
In any event, it just shows baseball managers can be tempermental. Who knew?
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Looks like the best defense to a good Dub tongue-lashing is the good offense of a kielbasa-intake overdose, and no, not THAT kielbasa.
Had the aged realized this technique earlier, Moyer would have feigned illness months ago.
Oh, and thanks. One can never get enough of that Elia rant, thanks. With Mora, Denny Green, Mike Singletary, Mike Gundy and Allen Iverson getting all the rant love lately, few even come close to Elia.
Hosting a chat tonight for Game Six. Swing on by. First round’s on me.
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