It’s never a good sign when I’m quoting my closing line from last week’s piece.
Will it be steak and eggs for breakfast on Sunday morning, or will it be yet another desperate trip to the plasma center on Monday? In the immortal words of 80’s super-group Asia, only time will tell. (Vegas has “plasma” at 7/2).
What does it tell you that I’m writing this from the plasma center? I’m not going to lie…this may have been my worst opening weekend of the fall since 1939 when I took Poland at home and the points against Germany. Who knew the Wehrmacht would go on an unprecedented road-winning streak until that brutal loss at the Stalingrad State. If it hadn’t been for Alabama giving USC it’s southern-fried version of Anschluss, Saturday could very easily just have been my college football Night of the Long Knives.
Since it’s only Week Two, I’m not ready to call this “Stop the bleeding Saturday,” but right now I’m looking like Dan Akroyd doing his Julia Child impression. The bankroll which started at $5,000 now stands at $4,593. Worse yet, there was a guy on the Dubsism Facebook page who said “put the whole $5,000 on Houston.” So, in the immortal words of Super Dave Osborne, I’ll have some gauze for dinner, and I’ll get right back on that point-spread Panzer that ran right over me.
Now, let’s get ready to gamble…
DISCLAIMER: Because gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir… and when it comes to gambling, I slice like Jack the Ripper working the deli counter on crystal meth. That’s why this in no way, shape or form is a gambling advice column, and all “bets” are mythical in nature. In other words, don’t come crying to me when you lose your house payment betting real money like I’m “betting” Monopoly money.
Does the bleeding stop this week, or is J-Dub going to be more nervous than a hemophiliac chef who just added the end of his finger to the soufflé? Stay tuned to the J-Dub Bleeding Gambling Challenge to find out!
Email Dubsism at dubsism@yahoo.com, and follow us @Dubsism on Twitter, or on our Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, and Facebook pages.
Nice call on the Gators.
Glad my boys could give you a little extra spending cash, albeit fictitious.
LikeLike