Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Somebody Passed On A Chance To Beat The Shit Out Of Justin Bieber
If you weren’t watching this past weekend , the NHL has it all-star festivities…part of which is an exhibition featuring celebrities and former NHL players. Now, I have to give credit to Bieber, he’s a mainstay at this event, and at the similar spectacle the NBA holds because the kid can skate, and he’s got handles. But let’s be honest. Most of us would love to bust this little fuckwad right in his chops.
Here’s the setup. On a dump-and-chase play, Bieber skates into the corner after the puck. Five feet behind him is former NHL goon extraordinaire Chris Pronger. Biebs is 5’9″, 145 pounds and Pronger tips in at 6’6″, 220 pounds. Better yet, Bieber commits the cardinal sin of turning his back on Pronger thinking he can clear the puck out of the corner before Pronger gets to him.
He was wrong. Every hockey fan on earth can look at the following picture and knows what could have happened here.
As I’ve already said, who wouldn’t have taken this golden opportunity? Mohandus Fucking Gandhi would have cross-checked him into the Stone Age. But Pronger…a guy who first-mauled his way into 18 career suspensions…pulled up.
What utter fucking bullshit.
Let me tell you something. Those of us who watch hockey on a regular basis saw that situation coming, and we were praying for Pronger to put Bieb’s face so far through the plexi-glass that his teeth would be in somebody’s popcorn in the third row.
But he didn’t. He gave Bieber a gentle nudge up against the boards as reminder for a rule every hockey player and fan knows – keep your head up, especially in the corners, where you NEVER turn your back on a guy, lest you get blasted into the glass. Don’t try to sell me some pantload about “not hitting the celebrities” in those exhibitions. If they want to get on the ice with the “big boys,” let them take a shot now and then. Besides, if these displays are supposed to be all about the fans, then would you like to guess how many of us would have to seen Bieber come out of that corner spitting teeth?
We’ll wait while you borrow NASA’s super computer to count all of us…
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Maybe someone will give Kevin Hart a hard foul and send him into the stands during NBA All-Star Weekend to make up for it.
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You mean like when that Little League girl facialized him?
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