Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Vontaze Burfict Is Now A Peacemaker
There’s certain things in the sports world that are just so completely messed-up that you can’t help but notice that civilization as we know it is on the very precipice of doom. Mark Moseley…a fucking kicker...won the 1982 NFL MVP Award over future Hall-of-Fame quarterback Dan Fouts. Rafael Palmeiro won a Gold Glove at 1st base in 1999 despite the he played only 28 games at the position. Ryan Fitzpatrick, the man whose picture will be on the interception-dollar bill when it’s finally minted, keeps getting jobs in the NFL; the very same league which brings us the latest sign of the apocalypse.
When Vontaze Burfict has become the pacifying voice of reason, you’re in real trouble. https://t.co/oHtwJjFqCZ
— Sam Monson (@PFF_Sam) September 5, 2019
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Let that sink in for a moment. Vontaze Burfict has thrown more cheap shots than combatants form the Jerry Springer show and those douche-nozzles form Cobra Kai combined, He once damn-near killed Antonio Brown, and now he’s breaking up his fights?
A world in which Vontaze Burfict is all of a sudden blue-helmet wearing United Nations peacekeeper? It’s time to stock up on bottled water, canned goods, and shotguns, people…the end is near.
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