What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
Fans of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” may remember the “Dennis Moore” sketch; the one about an 18th-century highway robber who for some reason delves into the realm of the silly by stealing flowers to give to the poor.
Really, the only thing sillier that swiping every lupin in the British Isles was how easy Vegas made it last week to make money. Granted, there are those people out there who still can’t bring themselves to get on winners; these are the people who shall remain nameless and do crazy shit like play four-team parlays including the likes of Liberty and Rutgers. Don’t get me wrong, as a degenerate gambler myself, I understand the allure of a big payday.
What I don’t get is passing on so many juicy point spreads to chase the parlay dragon. Now, to be fair, when the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll finally hits a “correction,” those very same dragon-chasers might be having their high-water mark. That’s why they say karma is a bitch, and that gambling is the classic “bitch goddess.”
That’s also why I’m going to enjoy this while I can; sometimes you’re the robber and sometimes you’re on the wrong end of the gun. Again, I’m going to enjoy riding high while I Last week the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll netted a profit of $740, setting the season total at $7,924…up from the original 5K.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me for one over-arching reason.
Unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football; they are of no use to me. That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
Having said that, let’s get ready to gamble…
Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…
Rutgers at Purdue (-11.5) O/U 62 $100 Purdue
We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Auburn Tigers
Auburn at Alabama (-24.5) O/U 62.5 $75 Alabama
It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”
Indiana (-11) at Maryland O/U 63.5
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