Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Favre-gasm: It Just Keeps Getting Better

Brett Favre Douchebag

Monday night, before the Vikings game against the Houston Texans, King Brett I said he might have a cracked rib, but that there has been no official diagnosis. In the same press conference, he said taking deep breaths caused pain, but that he won’t wear any extra protection because “the damage is done.’’

Too bad you can say the same thing about Texans’ safety Eugene Wilson’s knee.

See, the King thought it would be grand to throw an illegal crackback block into Wilson’s knee. With Percy Harvin playing quarterback from the “Wildcat” formation, Favre lined up as a receiver. Wilson was pursuing the ball carrier when Favre threw the block. Wilson was injured on the play, but luckily it was nothing serious.  The King drew a 15-yard penalty, and drew the ire of players around the league; cheap-shotting knees is a violation of an unwritten rule amongst players, and it usually means someone will do it back to you in time.

Having said that, I have one question: What the fuck is going on in Minnesota?

First of all, why is this geriatric douchebag even on the field in the third quarter of a completely meaningless pre-season game? He’d already done the damage he is supposed to do, chucking the rock to the tune of 13 completions on 18 attempts, for a total 142 yards and a touchdown. Not to mention, before the game he told reporters he thought he already had a cracked rib.  So, if you had a decrepit bag-of-bones quarterback on whom all your hopes were riding, don’t you think you might let him rest up that rib, saving the aches-and-pains for games that actually mean something?

Apparently not if you are Brad Childress. In fact, you do just the opposite; you let your possibly-injured dinosaur throw blocks! Now when you stop to consider that King Brett I has never played in a Wildcat formation, and therefore is not used to blocking, it’s easy to see the genius at work here. The Vikings gained seven yards on two Wildcat plays, all while the  “star” quarterback risks injuring himself to show the world yet again what a colossal prick he is. I just can’t wait for the Vikings to show this kind of shit in a playoff game.

But in all seriousness, three weeks ago before the whole King Brett I saga became official, I thought this was a team that had a chance to be in Miami in February. But this team is in trouble, and it all because of Favre. That play shows it all in nutshell.

Childress is desperate; hence why is taking all these big risks. Face it – the guy is toast if the Vi-queens don’t win something this season. If the team gets off to a cold start, Childress’ ass will get nuclear-powered white-hot as the media and fans will flame him to a crisp. Childress is pushing all his chips to the center of the table; betting his future on a quarterback whose body is a broken down wreck, some gadget plays, and a lot of smoke and mirrors.

Worse yet, the nag of a QB he is betting on has a solid shot of not even seeing the end of the season. Last year, King Brett ‘s body broke down, scattering bits all over the Meadowlands like bolts falling out of a rusty 1982 GMC pick-up truck. Of course, the odds keep going up since the King himself is already talking about being hurt while his coach plans to use him as a blocker.

If that weren’t enough, look at what his break-down did to his team. In the last five games of last season, he took a team that was 8-3 to a 9-7 finish. Not only did he clearly cost the Jets a playoff spot, but he clearly didn’t care that he fucked over the 52 other guys on the team with his terrible play.  Instead, he thought if would be fun to continue his douche-baggery by visiting this kind of bullshit on another team.

Enter the Vikings. He scored tons of points with the guys in the Purple locker room by blowing off training camp, a time when players bond and actually develop the team chemistry that is essential to success. It seems pretty clear to me that the only person in the world Brett Favre gives a shit about is Brett Favre. That’s likely why the Vikings locker room is now nicely divided.

Nobody really can know what to expect at this point; there will be a lot of blather from supporters of the Purple about an easy schedule, the effect of the Metrodome on visiting teams, and King Brett I’s familiarity with the offense. But at the end of the day, Favre is still just a used-up hero antics and attitude are going to destroy yet another football team.

Good luck Viking fans; I’m afraid you are going to need it.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

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This entry was posted on September 2, 2009 by in NFL and tagged , , .

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